Looking in the mirror
Sometimes it pays to check yourself
What you will get from this post:
My views on the challenges of going it alone, and not listening to others
My process for learning more about myself and how I can improve
A copy of the exact email I sent this afternoon to seek counsel from others
One of the toughest things to do is to take a step back and look at yourself.
In a world of filters - and I don’t just mean the Instagram type - we often lose sight of who we are. What stands out about us, and where we can improve. Self appraisal is one of the most difficult things for us to do.
If you haven’t done already, a holistic self appraisal is one of the very best things that you can do.
But it’s not a job that you can do alone, in your own mirror.
I’ve been away from the ‘circuit’ for just over a year. I haven’t had the time nor the headspace to be able to focus on speaking slots or brand ambassadorships.
Now that I’m looking to restart this, I need to look at myself.
But what will I see?
The memories of what was there once upon a time?
The views of myself and the world that I’ve carried from that time?
A harsh critique, or an over inflated view?
Our self appraisals, whilst important, are often tainted. Call it a real life filter!
I’ve decided to perform a holistic self appraisal. Just like the type you would get in the workplace. Seeking the views of those I trust, in order to help me view myself in a more accurate way. Removing myself away from the negative and the positive self talk which might be sitting there in my mind.
It’s a brave step, but a necessary step.
So, what did I do?
Take advice on the wider project
I don’t know what I don’t know. Things change at a remarkable pace in today’s world. The first thing that I absolutely had to do was to check that the wall upon which I wanted to lean my ladder against was the right wall. I needed to speak to those in that world to understand what the current market place looks like, where the gaps are, and where I could fill them.
For that, there was one man for the job. Murray.
Murray Harkin has been a very good friend of mine over the years, and historically we worked on a number of initiatives in the TV and media world. He is one of the most well connected people I know in that scene. Murray was pivotal in securing my press columns, and has always been an unwavering advocate of mine. He acted as my publicist a few years ago, and not only is he good at his job, but also an astute thinker in the world of media relations.
We had the opportunity to chat about this, amongst many other things, recently.
He filled in the blanks that are there since my last foray in this world.
Find those who can appraise you in the areas you want to be appraised.
If I want to do this, I need to understand what those on the other side of the table think. So, I thought of two people who would be by far the very best people to appraise me.
Enter Kate and Jules.
Both of these wonderful ladies are experienced marketers, but perhaps more importantly, I know that they won’t pull any punches. If they think I’m a dick, they’ll tell me.
I went, cap in hand, and asked them for their help. And I’m ever thankful that they agreed to answer a few questions.
They’ll probably regret that when they see the list! 😁
Right, those jobs were done, I found the right people. I’d better…
Design an appraisal form for them to be able to tear me apart!
I created a list of 10 questions which I sent to each of them. I gave them the opportunity for it to be a ‘sh*t sandwich’ by allowing them a space for praise as well as constructive advice. But really, I need to know what I need to improve on in order to be able to improve.
Here was my ask:
Hey Jules,
So, firstly thank you so much!
As mentioned I'm rebooting my speaking / brand work after a year and a bit in the wilderness. Loads has changed in the wider world and I want to make sure that I have a grasp both on that but also an honest self reflection to understand what I do well, and not so well.
Here's a list of questions. I appreciate your unfiltered views, and any advice you might have as well! Feel free just to answer inline.
1. As a 'personal brand', what do I do well?
2. As a 'personal brand', what could I improve on?
3. As a 'marketer', could you rank the below list from not needed to must have, insofar as things that you'd look for in a brand ambassador? Please also add any comments. For example, if you feel that your choice with a hypothetical company might be different than a choice of a much smaller / larger organisation. And I guess most importantly, anything I've missed!
Brand ambassador's reach & engagement
Brand ambassador's press / TV coverage
Brand ambassador being on stages speaking to your audiences
Brand ambassador's credibility and experience in your market
Direct correlation between individual activities and sales
Increasing brand love through education and community
Authentic reason for the ambassadorship to be in place
'Look and feel' of the brand ambassador
4. As an 'event organiser', what do you look for in speakers (perhaps the three top things in order that make you think 'hell yes')?
5. How do you typically find brand ambassadors?
6. How do you typically find speakers?
7. Brainstorm time - if I had a magic wand, what could I do to make myself absolutely irresistible and a no brainer to book as a brand ambassador?
8. Brainstorm time - if I had a magic wand, what could I do to make myself absolutely irresistible and a no brainer to book as a speaker?
9. The thorny issue - agents. Love them? Hate them? Anything in between?
10. If you were me, what would you do?
BONUS: Final and toughest one. If you don't want to do this one as it's more than a 30 second answer, I totally understand! Would you be kind enough to skim read carlreader.com, and let me know your thoughts? Pertinently - does it sum me up? What should I scrap? What else should I include?
Thank you so so much for this! I value your views, and am only reaching out to two or three people on this. It will really help me, and I'll owe you one.
All the best
Carl
I’ve done this kind of thing before. I know that you can get some brutally honest feedback, and that more often you get the things that the recipient hopes you want to hear.
The brutal truth is what I’m after.
I focused my questions in three key areas:
What can I improve on, and what should I have comfort in through knowing I do it well;
How do those on the other side of the table think, feel, and make decisions; and
The unknown unknowns - what are the things that I haven’t even considered
I have no idea what there feedback will be. Due to my propensity to over share, I felt it best to write this article as soon as I clicked send. I know this can be valuable for some of you, but I didn’t want it to be forever suppressed if my ego takes a blow.
Plus, my current cadence of writing, and indeed the fact that this acts as a form of closure for me on each work day, is leading to a nice batch of articles which are scheduled over the coming weeks.
By the time you read this, I could be a quivering wreck crying in the corner, getting my head around how differently the world perceives me compared to my own self image!
From my previous holistic self appraisals, I know the feedback - whilst sometimes initially painful - is fundamental insofar as understanding what the next steps that you need to take are.
Here goes.
Let’s see what comes back, and how it contributes to what I do next.
I know that whatever the responses, they will be tremendously valuable. And, that I truly do owe them one.
For anyone else wanting to do better or be better in any field - whether that’s in the services you offer your clients, your performance in your career, your progress in the gym, or anything else - this stuff is magic.
As they say, feedback is the breakfast of champions. And I’m gonna swallow it, even if it tastes worse than raw eggs mixed in a protein shake.
Watch this space!
Carl Reader is a WH Smith Bestselling Author and international keynote speaker with a real passion for helping people do better. There are two ways to learn more about Carl! You can either follow him on Social Media if you’re just curious (@carlreader on most platforms), or if you’d like to learn a little more about what he does on stage, through content and in the media from a commercial perspective, you can visit his website.
You can buy a copy of his last book BOSS IT here, wherever you are in the world. And of course, I’d love you to subscribe to this community to be the first to see everything I have to share - just click the button below. It’s free of charge!
There’s an important disclaimer which applies to all content shared on this Substack, available at the bottom of this page, together with the statutory information that is required to be shared under current UK legislation.