Let's try something new. Something fresh.
TL;DR - I'm hitting pause on my social media, this is why.
My marketing team probably hate me.
On one hand, I moan about social media being a waste of time, but they see me on it a lot.
But let’s be honest. It is pretty damn awful.
Today, I saw some things clearly. And am typing this mid-air en route to Toronto for the launch of a new office in Canada.
I’m going to rewind about 7 hours to begin.
Everyone in or around London has felt the impact of the strikes. For me, the impact was that I had to find another way to get to Heathrow. But I couldn’t park. So I had to get a taxi. But there was lots of traffic. So the M25 was closed. And so on…
You get the drift.
I had to chat to my taxi driver!
He mentioned the murder of Charlie Kirk. This was someone who I’d never heard of until about 7am this morning, when I went through the rather mind-numbing ritual of checking social media.
That’s right. I gave myself a dose of sadness and grief for someone’s family and friends; someone I don’t know. A dose of political views oscillating between every extreme you can imagine. A dose of mistrust in the world that we currently live in, all before I got out of bed and had a cuppa.
I’d already consciously cut out the news from my life as a ‘media diet’, and at first that was great. But I just replaced it with a different form of news. Unregulated, unfiltered, and unwieldy news; that never ends.
This has got to change
I’ve long bemoaned the impact of social media on society today, despite being perhaps the world’s biggest hypocrite on this point.
I’ve profited from social media personally and professionally.
But when I step back and look at it holistically, I fear for the impact on us all.
You just need to step outside to see this.
Any concert or live event is no longer enjoyed by the visitor. Big tech is the main beneficiary of Oasis playing at Wembley or your favourite team scoring a last minute penalty. Rather than living in the moment, we live in our phones - capturing the moment to share, rather than living the moment to experience.
You just need to step outside Dubai Mall as it turns dark to see this vividly. The lights of mobile phone screens filming the Burj Khalifa lights outshine the very impressive lights that are there to be filmed!
This isn’t the only problem. I could go on for hours about this, so I’ll limit myself to a couple of grumbles.
Ever met someone who seems to look amazing on social media all of the time? Let’s be honest, they always have a few more wrinkles in real life, right…?
Ahh, those pesky filters.
They go beyond the button you click to change the colour tone of an image from cold to warm.
Once upon a time, I knew a guy - Ben - who worked as a retoucher for magazines. His job sounded pretty damn amazing.
All he did, all day, was take pictures of women in various states of undress and improve them for the magazines.
Now, to my untrained eye, that seemed like an easy life. Sit back, look at lots of attractive women, and click a few buttons.
But - he felt unsettled.
It conflicted with his internal values.
I can’t remember his exact words, but I remember him saying that he felt guilty ‘changing how these already attractive girls look’.
The girls (and guys) are doing it to themselves nowadays.
I’ve seen it during my dating experiences. I’d say over 50% of females I met - more likely 75% plus - used filters extensively on their images. And more than a handful used filters much more extensively than just on their dating profiles in the hope of getting a couple more swipes.
I’ve seen people insist on using certain camera apps, whether Snapchat or TikTok, because they prefer the filter on it. People who absolutely refuse to look at a normal photo of themselves, let alone share it online. People who share plenty of pictures and videos online.
How do these people look at themselves in the mirror?
I don’t mean that negatively. I come from a place of curiosity, fear, and sadness. How do they do it?
If you can’t look at yourself and smile, how can you expect others to do the same?
It really saddens me, that technology has allowed people to design a version of themselves, that makes them less satisfied with the real version of themselves.
This goes far beyond image or video filters.
We should all know that social media is a highlights reel by now. Very few people share every moment of every day, warts and all.
I’d also wager that very few people can honestly say that their 'highlights reel’ is an accurate representation of themselves and their life (albeit edited).
The seductive poses
The images of abundance and wealth
The videos of exotic travel
Is this really real?
Now, whilst the impact of this may be on the person posting, the wider impact is on those who observe. The silent majority, consuming rather than creating.
Comparing.
Again, we know that “comparison is the thief of joy”. Anyone who has seen me on stage recently will know that I’d take that a step further. It’s the enemy of fulfilment.
It doesn’t just take happiness away. It actively stops you feeling how you should feel.
I’ve not even started on what is the shambles of the paid ‘blue tick’, the lengths people go to in ‘gaming the algorithm’, the cycle of checking posts and wondering about engagement, and the hours we all lose watching yet another 30 second video.
So, it’s time to put my actions where my mouth is.
I’ve long said that if it wasn’t for work, I wouldn’t use social media.
It’s time for me to stop consuming.
Will I stop creating? I don’t know. I have to find a way to create and share without consuming - much harder than it sounds. I’ve certainly slowed down my creation over the last couple of years.
As of today, I’ve had a few hours on the flight without socials, and it has been bliss. It’s time for a change.
I don’t know how long this change will last, but for the time being, I’ll be hitting pause on my social media.
I’ve shared some of the negative drivers above. There are many many more.
But, there are some positive drivers too!
Personally, I’m at an important point for working out what the next few years hold for me. What I create next, what I write about, and what I speak about. The world is changing, and I am learning. Whilst watching some dancing to trending music may help some detailed research later - who knows - it won’t help the strategic thinking that I want to do right now.
Similarly, I want to do the same for my business. Take a step back, and re-evaluate. That needs an uncluttered mind. I want to think deeply about artificial intelligence, economic shifts, and the resulting market changes.
And finally, there’s been something great that I’ve held back from the social feeds, and I know it has absolutely been for the best. We don’t need to share each and every breakfast! Some partial anonymity in my life has been refreshing… in fact, amazing.
So, there we go. Hitting pause. No idea how long for - it might be for a night, it might be for a week, it might be sacked off forever. I’ll still take photos, capture memories, and so on. But they’ll stay under wraps for the time being I guess!
I’m sure I’ll still have stuff shared - whether here, through my books, my business social media (which thankfully I can’t log into), or I may find how to share on my platforms without consuming any of the nonsense myself. I’ve got time to think that through - there’s no rush, and I’m probably about to free up three hours per day.
Will I rejoin permanently when I finish pausing? Will I ‘dump and run’, sharing stuff and then deactivating again? Will I never even think about downloading the apps again? No idea.
But what I do know is that I’ll see you, somewhere, soon… let’s see if I look rested from the extra few hours and reduction in negativity!
Carl Reader is a WH Smith Bestselling Author and international keynote speaker with a real passion for helping people do better. There are two ways to learn more about Carl! You can either follow him on Social Media if you’re just curious (@carlreader on most platforms), or if you’d like to learn a little more about what he does on stage, through content and in the media from a commercial perspective, you can visit his website at www.carlreader.com
You can buy a copy of his last book BOSS IT online, wherever you are in the world. And of course, I’d love you to subscribe to this community to be the first to see everything I have to share - just click the button below. It’s free of charge!
AI Disclaimer: Please note that the main image on this article was generated using AI. The words are all my own unless explicitly stated - however, please note that these words may well have been dictated into a transcription tool.
There’s an important disclaimer which applies to all content shared on this Substack, available at the bottom of the about page, together with the statutory information that is required to be shared under current UK legislation.
to think, I didn't even start on the AI generated cobblers which is out there...