On one hand, I moan about social media being a waste of time, but they see me on it a lot.

But let’s be honest. It is pretty damn awful.

Today, I saw some things clearly. And am typing this mid-air en route to Toronto for the launch of a new office in Canada.

I’m going to rewind about 7 hours to begin.

Everyone in or around London has felt the impact of the strikes. For me, the impact was that I had to find another way to get to Heathrow. But I couldn’t park. So I had to get a taxi. But there was lots of traffic. So the M25 was closed. And so on…

You get the drift.

I had to chat to my taxi driver!

He mentioned the murder of Charlie Kirk. This was someone who I’d never heard of until about 7am this morning, when I went through the rather mind-numbing ritual of checking social media.

That’s right. I gave myself a dose of sadness and grief for someone’s family and friends; someone I don’t know. A dose of political views oscillating between every extreme you can imagine. A dose of mistrust in the world that we currently live in, all before I got out of bed and had a cuppa.

I’d already consciously cut out the news from my life as a ‘media diet’, and at first that was great. But I just replaced it with a different form of news. Unregulated, unfiltered, and unwieldy news; that never ends.

This has got to change

I’ve long bemoaned the impact of social media on society today, despite being perhaps the world’s biggest hypocrite on this point.

I’ve profited from social media personally and professionally.

But when I step back and look at it holistically, I fear for the impact on us all.

You just need to step outside to see this.

Any concert or live event is no longer enjoyed by the visitor. Big tech is the main beneficiary of Oasis playing at Wembley or your favourite team scoring a last minute penalty. Rather than living in the moment, we live in our phones - capturing the moment to share, rather than living the moment to experience.

You just need to step outside Dubai Mall as it turns dark to see this vividly. The lights of mobile phone screens filming the Burj Khalifa lights outshine the very impressive lights that are there to be filmed!

This isn’t the only problem. I could go on for hours about this, so I’ll limit myself to a couple of grumbles.

Ever met someone who seems to look amazing on social media all of the time? Let’s be honest, they always have a few more wrinkles in real life, right…?

Ahh, those pesky filters.

They go beyond the button you click to change the colour tone of an image from cold to warm.

Once upon a time, I knew a guy - Ben - who worked as a retoucher for magazines. His job sounded pretty damn amazing.

All he did, all day, was take pictures of women in various states of undress and improve them for the magazines.

Now, to my untrained eye, that seemed like an easy life. Sit back, look at lots of attractive women, and click a few buttons.

But - he felt unsettled.

It conflicted with his internal values.

I can’t remember his exact words, but I remember him saying that he felt guilty ‘changing how these already attractive girls look’.

The girls (and guys) are doing it to themselves nowadays.

I’ve seen it during my dating experiences. I’d say over 50% of females I met - more likely 75% plus - used filters extensively on their images. And more than a handful used filters much more extensively than just on their dating profiles in the hope of getting a couple more swipes.

I’ve seen people insist on using certain camera apps, whether Snapchat or TikTok, because they prefer the filter on it. People who absolutely refuse to look at a normal photo of themselves, let alone share it online. People who share plenty of pictures and videos online.

How do these people look at themselves in the mirror?

I don’t mean that negatively. I come from a place of curiosity, fear, and sadness. How do they do it?

If you can’t look at yourself and smile, how can you expect others to do the same?

It really saddens me, that technology has allowed people to design a version of themselves, that makes them less satisfied with the real version of themselves.

This goes far beyond image or video filters.

We should all know that social media is a highlights reel by now. Very few people share every moment of every day, warts and all.

I’d also wager that very few people can honestly say that their 'highlights reel’ is an accurate representation of themselves and their life (albeit edited).

The seductive poses

The images of abundance and wealth

The videos of exotic travel

Is this really real?

Now, whilst the impact of this may be on the person posting, the wider impact is on those who observe. The silent majority, consuming rather than creating.

Comparing.

Again, we know that “comparison is the thief of joy”. Anyone who has seen me on stage recently will know that I’d take that a step further. It’s the enemy of fulfilment.

It doesn’t just take happiness away. It actively stops you feeling how you should feel.

I’ve not even started on what is the shambles of the paid ‘blue tick’, the lengths people go to in ‘gaming the algorithm’, the cycle of checking posts and wondering about engagement, and the hours we all lose watching yet another 30 second video.

So, it’s time to put my actions where my mouth is.

I’ve long said that if it wasn’t for work, I wouldn’t use social media.

It’s time for me to stop consuming.

Will I stop creating? I don’t know. I have to find a way to create and share without consuming - much harder than it sounds. I’ve certainly slowed down my creation over the last couple of years.

As of today, I’ve had a few hours on the flight without socials, and it has been bliss. It’s time for a change.

I don’t know how long this change will last, but for the time being, I’ll be hitting pause on my social media.

I’ve shared some of the negative drivers above. There are many many more.

But, there are some positive drivers too!

Personally, I’m at an important point for working out what the next few years hold for me. What I create next, what I write about, and what I speak about. The world is changing, and I am learning. Whilst watching some dancing to trending music may help some detailed research later - who knows - it won’t help the strategic thinking that I want to do right now.

Similarly, I want to do the same for my business. Take a step back, and re-evaluate. That needs an uncluttered mind. I want to think deeply about artificial intelligence, economic shifts, and the resulting market changes.

And finally, there’s been something great that I’ve held back from the social feeds, and I know it has absolutely been for the best. We don’t need to share each and every breakfast! Some partial anonymity in my life has been refreshing… in fact, amazing.

So, there we go. Hitting pause. No idea how long for - it might be for a night, it might be for a week, it might be sacked off forever. I’ll still take photos, capture memories, and so on. But they’ll stay under wraps for the time being I guess!

I’m sure I’ll still have stuff shared - whether here, through my books, my business social media (which thankfully I can’t log into), or I may find how to share on my platforms without consuming any of the nonsense myself. I’ve got time to think that through - there’s no rush, and I’m probably about to free up three hours per day.

Will I rejoin permanently when I finish pausing? Will I ‘dump and run’, sharing stuff and then deactivating again? Will I never even think about downloading the apps again? No idea.

But what I do know is that I’ll see you, somewhere, soon… let’s see if I look rested from the extra few hours and reduction in negativity!

Carl Reader is a WH Smith Bestselling Author and international keynote speaker with a real passion for helping people do better. There are two ways to learn more about Carl! You can either follow him on Social Media if you’re just curious (@carlreader on most platforms), or if you’d like to learn a little more about what he does on stage, through content and in the media from a commercial perspective, you can visit his website at www.carlreader.com

You can buy a copy of his last book BOSS IT online, wherever you are in the world. And of course, I’d love you to subscribe to this community to be the first to see everything I have to share - just click the button below. It’s free of charge!

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AI Disclaimer: Please note that the main image on this article was generated using AI. The words are all my own unless explicitly stated - however, please note that these words may well have been dictated into a transcription tool.

There’s an important disclaimer which applies to all content shared on this Substack, available at the bottom of the about page, together with the statutory information that is required to be shared under current UK legislation.

Rather than settle down to watch the latest Netflix series, I’d far rather watch YouTube on my TV. And boy, does the algorithm come up with some interesting options!

Thankfully, it’s not full of “badger, badger, badger” these days.

Instead, I can watch keynote talks from around the world, instructional videos around anything, and all sorts. Whether it’s to help me build out my home automation system, improve at chess, or try to gain a different perspective on something, YouTube is there for me.

Probably a whole lot better than whatever has replaced Breaking Bad as the Netflix drug of choice!

Anyway, today I wanted to talk about something that cropped up from the algorithm. A concept that I was kind of aware of, but having not had any formal education or qualification in psychology, a concept that I couldn’t name nor research in any way. Until now.

The concept of the “shadow self”.

This concept was brought to me via Jordan Peterson and Robert Greene. Now, I’m pretty sure these two wouldn’t need introduction to many of you; and it’s safe to say that they have attracted their fair share of controversy and in fact, disgust - Peterson for his repeated stances against political correctness, and Greene for the contents of his book The 48 Laws of Power, which can be considered either a life manual for evil, or an observation of evil, depending on how you interpret it.

Note: I don’t tend to follow ‘groupthink’ nor engage too much in any negative media about individuals - in fact, I rarely engage with the ‘traditional media’ and am woefully / joyfully disconnected from what goes on in the outside world, whether it is Love Island or a world war - so I’m conscious that I may well have a blind spot if there are any more substantive controversies / issues that should be raised.

From my perspective, I generally prefer to consider most views as valid, whether I agree with them or not, and as such these two wouldn’t be disqualified from my ‘feed’ of information and understanding. I firmly believe that in order to understand something, you simply cannot source your understanding on the views of one side alone that reaffirm your existing paradigms - if one of these people is your sole source of inspiration, that’s pretty worrying, as is the case if you would have a blanket refusal to listen to them because your sole source of inspiration disagrees with them.

Anyway.

It was a ten minute clip, and the clip focused on the ‘shadow self’. A brief Google search informed me of this theory, popularised by Carl Jung,

The theory is that we all have a ‘shadow self’ which we repress, hide away, or reject. These can be emotions, instincts, desires, weaknesses… all sorts. And often, we tend to hold the traits of our shadow self in such contempt that we actively put down others who demonstrate acts which would align to our ‘shadow self’.

As soon as I started watching the clip, my mind started racing, and I started to think about the power of the shadow self.

Please bear in mind that I have only just learned of the formal term for this, and have not looked into it in any more detail. I am sharing this as a ‘snap’ reaction based on my experiences and what I’ve observed; however as a subject that fascinates me (like most psychological theories), I will be digging around a little further to build out my understanding and knowledge of studies and so on. So, my views may adapt over time, and if so, there may be future posts on this!

Within the clip, they talked about the shadow self, and it started with someone who was a successful guy from what I’d call a normal upbringing. I’d like to think I had a normal upbringing, but I’m conscious from the worlds I’m in now that it was what would’ve been described in the video. Basically, you learn how to be street wise through experience, not books.

The conversation then drifted onto a discussion of their shadow self as angry men, and I’ll be honest, I drifted off too. But not away from the topic. I drifted into thinking about the power of the shadow self regardless of what that shadow is.

I’m going to pull away from shadow self briefly, and mention a great book authored by friends of mine, Ash Ali and Hasan Kubba, called ‘The Unfair Advantage’. Now I may be conflating both concepts inaccurately, but for my simple mind, it works.

In their book they talk about the fact that we all have an ‘unfair advantage’ which can either frame as positive or negative - most of us tend to automatically look for things that have held us back, but actually they are usually the things that drive us forwards.

I’d like to weave that in to the concept of the shadow self, to explore how we can use our ‘shadow’ to our own benefit. And there’s no better way of doing that than by looking at my own experiences. You may resonate with some of my ‘shadows’, you may not. But hopefully, it will help you to think about how you can reframe any shadows you may have, and use them positively.

I’ve been stuck in the accounting world since 1997. I fell into it. I wasn’t a natural. After all, who wants an ADHD accountant? I’m a chatterbox. I lack attention to detail. When employed I’d be moved to be away from the rest of the team as I was a distraction. Most colleagues probably look at me and wonder what the hell I’m doing in accounting, and why the hell was I employed in the first place.

There are also darker traits that we all have in some shape or form. For me, I have an internal rage about injustices which contradicts the stoic approach I try to embrace. I have a competitive streak. And so on.

But, some of these very ‘shadows’ that I have help me to do what I do.

My tendency towards big picture thinking helps me take a helicopter view of my business and any challenges.

My overly communicative personality helps me to sell, evangelise, and build key partnerships. And of course, to write articles and stand on stage.

My internal rage is channelled into lobbying politicians and my philanthropic work.

And of course my unfair advantage of growing up in a different environment to my middle class peers means that I stand out, and at the same time am relatable to a different demographic.

If we all were the perfect avatar of the perfect employee to do a perfect job, we’d all be workers with no differentials. None of us would stand out.

We would be in the sea of the same.

But none of us are.

We can choose to allow our shadow self to stay unchecked, we can choose to suppress our shadow self to satisfy others, or we can embrace our shadow self, reframe it, and channel it positively.

What will you do with your shadow self?

Whatever you do, make it a choice.

Carl Reader is a WH Smith Bestselling Author and international keynote speaker with a real passion for helping people do better. There are two ways to learn more about Carl! You can either follow him on Social Media if you’re just curious (@carlreader on most platforms), or if you’d like to learn a little more about what he does on stage, through content and in the media from a commercial perspective, you can visit his website at www.carlreader.com

You can buy a copy of his last book BOSS IT online, wherever you are in the world. And of course, I’d love you to subscribe to this community to be the first to see everything I have to share. It’s free of charge!

Subscribe now

Please note that the main image on this article was generated using AI. The words are all my own unless explicitly stated.

There’s an important disclaimer which applies to all content shared on this Substack, available at the bottom of the about page, together with the statutory information that is required to be shared under current UK legislation.

It became clear as I typed that the 2024 context and recap was more than enough for one post, and that I should separate the plans ahead from the recap.

So here goes!

The phrase for 2025 is Level Up, in more ways than one.

In short, for those who didn’t read the first post, 2024 was Rebuild, and I gave it an 8 out of 10. I shared the headlines of how I set my targets for a year, and in this post I hope to elaborate on both the targets and the process.

If you’ve already set New Years resolutions, it’s likely that you may already have wavered. I’ve deliberately timed the sharing of this post for mid January for that point. Also, I’ve delayed completion of the post until the last minute, so I can be brutally honest and accountable to you for what I have and haven’t done if anything has changed. We are all fallible, myself included.

The first part - this introduction, an expansion of the process, and the headlines - is being typed now, on the afternoon of 31 December.

If you’re reading this (and Carl, that means you too in a couple of weeks when updating the post!), it’s OK if you’ve not changed the world in two weeks. It’s OK if targets change, priorities change, or planned actions change. It’s never too late to check in and remind yourself, and it’s never too late to re set targets.

I’m excluding some items due to either commercial confidentiality, or simply as I don’t want to overshare any more than I already do! But, I hope the framework will encourage you to see that this is a process well worth doing.

As a reminder, this was the framework I originally shared:

Here’s the process I use, that avoids the usual traps.

1. Reflect properly on 2024. What went well, what went badly, what are you happy to accept as part of the process, and what are you not happy to accept going forwards?

2. Reflect on the overarching theme for the last year, and set a theme for the year ahead. Just one word or phrase that can summarise the overall direction. For me, 2024 was rebuild, 2025 is level up.

3. Set headline behaviours for yourself that will determine the fundamental shifts that you will work towards.

4. Set targets that you would like to achieve. I don’t feel that SMART goals are right at this stage (specific, measurable, achievable, relevant and time bound). Just a headline target is sufficient for this. The SMART is part of the planning for each target.

5. Create some initial actions that can help you move towards them.

6. Create a mechanism that carries these targets and behaviours throughout the year. I’ll cover this in a future post alongside my plans for 2025.

   ---

I gave a very real and raw reflection in my 2024 Wrapped post, and the overarching themes simply fell out from that reflection. I wish that there was an easy way to find the theme. For me, the words were easy to find, but I get that it may not be for others - I have no idea to be honest as I’m not in your mind!

But for step 2, all I’d suggest is that you try to think of the best phrase or word that you can. It doesn’t need to be overthought, and there are no wrong answers to this.

Here’s where it gets a bit more tricky!

Set headline behaviours and targets (steps 3 and 4)

I’m a strong believer that if you fix or refine behaviours, you will in turn operate better in whatever you put your focus on.

There is no point filling a bucket with water if it has holes that need patching up.

That’s why this comes first, before an aspirational target of “make £XXX”, “do XXX’, “learn XXX” and so on.

And, through an honest reflection as set out in step 1, and underpinned by an overarching theme as in step 2, these opportunities for improvement become patently clear.

I have six areas that I focus on: Health, Relationships (friends, family and romantic), Fun, Mindset, Wealth and Business.

Here are some examples of the behaviours I’ve set in each:

Health: no unhealthy takeaways more than once a week, and set my alarm at 7am each morning without fail to force my sleep routine to become regularised.

Relationships: reciprocate effort and the lack of the same, always be there for family, and remember that you don’t need to impress anyone but yourself.

Fun: don’t let everything creep into holidays, and be prepared to expand your mind and skills.

Mindset: be open to studying new material, and value the benefits of a self care routine.

Wealth: commit to learning from others who have ‘made it’, and don’t make financially reckless decisions.

Business: make fast and firm decisions, get out there, and don’t accept second best.

You’ll see that these are a far cry from what ‘experts’ say you should do when it comes to goal settings. But, these aren’t goals. These are behaviours and mindset that will support the eventual goals. I’ve not shared all, but there’s a couple more in most of the categories to help shape who I am by the end of the year, and hopefully going forwards.

From there, I set some more specific targets. I’ve set a target for my Chess ranking, specific actions that I wish to take each day, how I’d like to finish the year from a health perspective, and so on. I have a count of the number of days I’d like to take as holiday, the number of speaking slots I will be doing, all sorts. The usual stuff that we do on 31 December!

It’s very ambitious, but in this year of levelling up, I’ll be happy to just achieve consistency and progress in myself - the ‘targets’ themselves help set that direction.

Create some initial momentum (step 5)

Step 5 is all about getting things moving. It’s the stuff that I’ll start work on tonight, rather than partying. It’s the five or six things that come to mind as non-negotiable actions which help create the momentum needed and clear any hurdles that may be in the way of my targets.

So yes, I’ll be emailing my doctor , asking the gym if I can change my membership so that I can train in the evenings as my days are just too rammed, and so on. And… bloody hell, setting my alarm at 7am both on my phone and a physical alarm clock. That’s the one I’m dreading, but there’s no time like the present, even if it does mean an early night on New Years Eve, right?

I’ll also make a start on a new Vision Board. Many people who’ve done this stuff before rarely have to rip it up and start again, but I do, and I’m here for it. I don’t want this to be completed tonight, but I want to get it kicked off to replant the seeds of thinking beyond the short term.

If I can’t be bothered to do the simple stuff, then how on earth can I do the actual hard work of hitting my targets?

Carry the behaviours throughout the year (step 6)

This one is kind of new to me. I hope you like it, and see why I’m so enthusiastic about it.

You may have done the exercise where you post a letter to your future self.

This is the digital equivalent.

But, rather than writing an aspirational target and sending it, instead, I am sending myself regular reminders of both my behavioural intentions and specific actions that fall later in the year.

Think of it as a prompt rather than a reflection.

And it’s really simple to do. I’m emailing myself, with delayed send.

Wish me luck!

And yes, I’ll update this post if I don’t do that, or the initial momentum steps. But now I’ve committed to this, I have no choice ;-)

EDIT - as of 9 January, I’ve done my initial steps, I’ve lived to all behaviours other than takeaways (avoiding cooking is self care after all, right?), I’ve actually booked a holiday which my work phone and laptop won’t be joining me on. I’m still to produce my Vision Board - maybe one for this weekend so that I’ve started everything before this post hits your inbox on Tuesday!

Carl Reader is a WH Smith Bestselling Author and international keynote speaker with a real passion for helping people do better. There are two ways to learn more about Carl! You can either follow him on Social Media if you’re just curious (@carlreader on most platforms), or if you’d like to learn a little more about what he does on stage, through content and in the media from a commercial perspective, you can visit his website at www.carlreader.com

You can buy a copy of his last book BOSS IT online, wherever you are in the world. And of course, I’d love you to subscribe to this community to be the first to see everything I have to share - just click the button below. It’s free of charge!

Subscribe now

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Please note that the main image on this article was generated using AI. The words are all my own unless explicitly stated, and any other images are real.

There’s an important disclaimer which applies to all content shared on this Substack, available at the bottom of the about page, together with the statutory information that is required to be shared under current UK legislation.

Easy money.

Whether it’s a lottery ticket, an accumulator bet, an ‘investment’, a training course, or indeed the goal we’ve set ourselves.

Yes, that’s right. The dream of passive income.

Earning a few quid without lifting a finger. Ever.

My subscribers will know that I recently shared a post about what I went through in late 2018, as I was preparing to retire from my business. This happened in early 2019, and I learned first hand that passive income is never passive.

I also found out in a dramatically different context earlier this week.

I’d recently set up a Stocks and Shares ISA and to test it out, the plan was to invest birthday and Christmas gifts for my youngest children, rather than giving them the cash to spend. If it goes up, they win, if it goes down, I top up. Seemed fairly simple to me, and whilst doing it I’d learn a little about how these platforms work.

Now, let me assure you, the amount I’d put aside wasn’t £32,000.

Why do I quote that number?

Because the provider I signed up with sent me an email, caught by my spam filter, and hidden at the bottom of it was a comment that they were introducing a flat fee on all balances below that amount. For context, it means someone with £1,000 in their account would likely only lose money.

Thankfully Reddit highlighted this, I found the email, and yes they were right.

What does this have to do with my previous article, and indeed the title of this post?

Well, to join the dots…

Passive income, however it is earned, is never passive.

I have a philosophy in life that if you stand still, you move backwards.

And with any sort of income, that also applies.

If you are a landlord and you don’t pay any attention to your tenants or the condition of the property, you’ll find the rental value deteriorates in comparison to the market. Similarly, if you don’t look at an investment portfolio, it might not be right for you.

Yes, you may not be hit by extra charges. But, can any of us say that our mindset and approach hasn’t shifted over say 10 years? We always need to re-evaluate, consider all options, and take a blank canvas approach to anything in life. And one of the most important things to do this on is how we earn our income.

Now I know that money doesn’t buy us happiness. It does however buy us food, warmth and shelter. Those things are pretty important in my opinion!

So, what connection does this have to my previous post?

In that post, I was talking about how I was preparing to embrace a new non-executive role, and take a step back from the business, which I did.

I had some crazy experiences afterwards, let me tell you!

I took over a National League South football club and experienced some amazing highs and lows. I was a voluntary steward separating Hungerford and Dartford fans whilst a plastic beer glass was thrown over my head, I cleaned birds mess off of seats, and I learned how to pull a pint. Badly.

But honestly, it was a wonderful life experience. And my name featured in the Football Manager game - boyhood dream unlocked!

I wrote BOSS IT, which became a WH Smith bestseller and is still stocked globally.

And I turned up to some meetings.

But you know what? The ‘passive’ - or at least semi-passive - income needed me more.

COVID hit, some bad decisions hit, a lack of focus hit, and I put my aspirations of being a ‘good leader’ above my aspirations of earning income.

I won’t go into the gory details here as I’ve already written far too much in this article compared to my usual posts and you as a reader are not my unpaid therapist, but let’s just say that personally, the knock on effect meant that I went without income for several months after finally doing what was needed - way beyond what would ordinarily be an ‘emergency fund’ - as I rolled up the sleeves, got stuck in, and had to pay back the lack of focus, pace and decisiveness that had ultimately caused this situation to happen.

Yes, I could have blamed COVID, other people, or whatever. But actually, I’d contend that it all boiled down to me. Having that dream of passive income, and not realising that passive income is never passive. So I worked harder than ever before, for less than I’ve ever earned. And I’m at peace with that. I owed it to myself, and to everyone else.

Thankfully, it isn’t all bad. I actually rediscovered my spark during that time. I rediscovered why I love being in business, and what I love about it. The almost child-like enthusiasm for opportunity and building stuff came back. It’s still there, and I’m still loving that rollercoaster that we call business ownership (please don’t use the ‘e’ word)! Not just back on track, but storming forwards.

Anyways, the biggest learning from this is that whatever you do and however you earn your income - whether employment, from investments, or from business - is that you should question everything.

Is the income safe for the short term?

Do I need to do anything to maintain or build it?

Is there a better income to be earned elsewhere?

What happens if x / y / z happens?

The last question is the big question.

Blind spots are exactly that. Things we can’t see and things we don’t know will happen. But they can, and invariably will. Things happen. And it’s unlikely that you’ll even identify ‘the thing’ - if you do, well done you - but this process of critically questioning your ‘passive’ (or earned) income and wargaming potential options will help you cope with it when the time arises for you to cope.

Don’t buy into the ‘no plan B’ hype.

We all know that a plant dies without water. We die without water.

You know what you need to water, and you need to know when to pull your finger out and water it, before the leaves turn brown.

Passive income is never truly passive.

Carl Reader is a WH Smith Bestselling Author and international keynote speaker with a real passion for helping people do better. There are two ways to learn more about Carl! You can either follow him on Social Media if you’re just curious (@carlreader on most platforms), or if you’d like to learn a little more about what he does on stage, through content and in the media from a commercial perspective, you can visit his website at www.carlreader.com

You can buy a copy of his last book BOSS IT online, wherever you are in the world. And of course, I’d love you to subscribe to this community to be the first to see everything I have to share - just click the button below. It’s free of charge!

There’s an important disclaimer which applies to all content shared on this Substack, available at the bottom of the about page, together with the statutory information that is required to be shared under current UK legislation.

It’s a game that is relatively simple to learn, but almost impossible to master.

After an Instagram message from @amalfiboyjay , I decided to pull my finger out and write this post that had been on my to do list!

My beginnings in the game were actually at a young age. Like many, I learned the moves and understood that the ‘horse’ (the knight) moves in a funny way like an L, and that pawns take other pieces diagonally. I used to play it at my youth group, and even went into a couple of tournaments against members of other youth groups in the same network.

I’d heard of a few ‘rules’, like you should put your pawns in the centre.

Then, I didn’t play it for about 25 -30 years.

So, why am I playing it now, and why am I an advocate for adults to embrace the game?

Quite a few adults are getting into or back into the game. Most look bored as soon as you mention it, but when you meet someone who plays, you can see the glint in their eye as they talk about it. And it’s not just the geeks. You’d be surprised at how the game has been embraced by people of all walks of life. It doesn’t discriminate (despite arguably being a ‘boys club’ for most of it’s existence).

Let me start with a helicopter view of the world of chess right now. It’s far more accessible than it was when I was a kid, as all you need is your mobile phone or a computer - you don’t need a chess board. And it’s far more popular.

A quick search on YouTube brings up countless educational videos, and the cool kids who know about things like Twitch (which I’ve embarrassingly never even looked into, let alone used) will know that it is fairly prominent there, from what I understand.

It’s been ‘jazzed up’, with different competition formats, and a host of younger grandmasters who are seemingly more relatable than Kasparov and Karpov, who I remember from my childhood.

But most of all, I guess the Netflix show The Queen’s Gambit, together with lockdown, had a lot to do with it. Again embarrassingly, I started after lockdown, haven’t seen the show, and don’t subscribe to Netflix!

I started playing again because I saw in an article how it can help with ADHD. And I felt the benefits the moment I downloaded an app.

What are the benefits of the game?

Apart from being a (sometimes) enjoyable game, the things that draw me in to the game are that it is one of the only ‘sports’ where you are solely responsible for your performance. It’s not like football where you can blame the ref, the weather, or your teammates. You have to take full responsibility for everything that happens on the board. You can’t miss that hole in one because of a freak gust of wind in this game.

I’ve also noticed, and learned of, a whole host of benefits that have helped shape my thinking outside of the game.

One of the fundamental elements of chess is pattern recognition.

This can be as simple as common opening formations, or it can be a deadly checkmating pattern. Over time you see similar positions which might not be identical; however the structure of the pieces on the board will alert you to the fact that you might be able to win, or lose, soon - or, as you progress, alert you to a tactical opportunity or threat.

Next up is the development of strategic and tactical thinking.

I don’t personally like the definitions used in the chess world to separate these, and I’ll keep it simple.

Even at the beginners level, chess forces you to think about what your plans are, to identify tactics to achieve them, and to visualise what will happen if x, y, or z happens. Because after all, we don’t have crystal balls.

We need to second guess what our opponent could do, and work out plans from there, in order to decide what our best move is before playing it.

As a player gets stronger, visualisation and calculation becomes even more important. Not only identifying the candidate moves and working out what the response will be, but then mapping out the next few likely moves - and with virtually unlimited moves available, it soon becomes a ‘mind map’ for each potential move.

All in your mind of course, as you’re not allowed to write things down during a chess match, according to the rules.

These things can be applied practically at work and at home.

I’ve always been a strong advocate of looking for the second bounce of the ball. This is a snazzy quote from a book I read many years ago, which mentions that one of the things that set apart great footballers is that they don’t think about where the ball will land, but actually, where the second bounce will be.

Having watched some football matches stood with Charlie Austin, an ex premiership footballer who happened to be an ex player for the team I took over, I can assure you that elite sports thinking is far deeper than any Harry Kane or David Beckham memes that you might see - it’s a masterclass in football for the 90 minutes - but please bear with this oversimplification.

In life, we often look at what is right in front of us, and either act or react based on the immediate circumstances. Particularly when fight or flight kicks in.

Imagine you are stuck in traffic, and then cut up whilst driving during your commute - and you were already running late.

There are three groups of reactions - you could have active road rage, passive road rage, or indifference. These cover every snap response from jumping out the car to threaten the other driver, the silent and unshared middle finger and anger, through to my preferred and now natural approach of stoicism and realising that ‘you are the traffic’.

These reactions are often instinctive, based on a variety of emotional and logical factors, and have pretty much been coded within our makeup. And trust me, they change over time, I used to be horrific and would allow other drivers to get to me. I now realise life is far too short, they’re probably in a rush too, I’ve probably made a mistake a mile or so ago, and that I should just have left earlier. And that my life is far too valuable for something to go wrong.

Logically, we should assess each of the options available to us. Would there be a net benefit of educating the driver about his or her bad driving? Would there be a risk of any argument dragging on for half an hour making me even more late for work? If I take no action, will it anger me later or will the self disciplined calm help me have a better day? And so on.

We have an awareness of what the other person is thinking and feeling, and an idea of their options, but we also don’t know our blind spots (and trust me, they turn up in chess too). Could they be an undercover police officer en route to stopping a major crime? Could they be a leading surgeon about to save someone’s life? Could they be a nutter with a machete on the passenger seat?

Yes, these blind spots are the real life version of the bishop stuck in the corner, innocently and out of sight, who’s about to capture our queen.

Now the road rage scenario might seem far fetched and overtly emotional driven once in the situation. But the same kind of thinking applies when a major customer tries to negotiate with you, or you are facing a difficult family decision. Pattern recognition can flag up issues before they become issues, strategic and tactical thinking helps you to work out what your options are based on your long term and immediate goals, and visualisation and calculation helps you to evaluate the options on the table.

There’s two brain benefits for this game too.

I’ve talked about the immediate practical benefits that I believe anyone could benefit from sharpening in life.

There’s two other benefits I’d like to share, one that is based on my own experience, and one that I hope will form my future experiences.

The first is focus. I wrote in my previous article about ADHD. This game helps! I won’t repeat those words here.

The second is sharpening the brain.

Let’s be honest, none of us are getting any younger. And whilst I still might not know what I want to be when I grow up, I have to be realistic and realise that at the ripe old age of 43, I am likely half way through my life.

It’s believed that chess could well be a preventative measure against degenerative diseases such as dementia.

Enough eulogising, what are the realistic steps to get started?

Simply, learn the moves and start playing! It’s that simple.

You can sink yourself into endless hours of YouTube lessons, learn umpteen opening theories, and buy all the books - but realistically, who’s got time for that?

As I said before, it’s an easy game to learn but almost impossible to master.

What I would say however is to check your ego at the door before starting. Kids are amazingly strong at the game. In fact, a kid called Abhimanyu Mishra became a grandmaster at 12! I’ve definitely seen from some of the online videos that even established players hate facing kids. Not only do they have all the time in the world to play, but they benefit from increased neuroplasticity.

Basically, their brains find it really easy to pick up things, like learning languages, that adults find much more difficult.

I’d set myself a couple of targets, based around ELO. Your ELO is a score that is calculated on an algorithm to work out how strong you are. You’re expected to beat someone at your level 50% of the time, and lose 50% of the time. If you do better, it climbs, if you don’t, it falls. That’s my really simple understanding. It’s a model used in all sorts of fields, from various games right through to dating apps!

First was to get to an ELO of 1,000 or 1,200. I ramped it up to 1,200 after seeing Steve Bolton, a business contact of mine, share on LinkedIn that he had hit that level (yes, I’m competitive and admire a lot of what he has done, so why not aim for the stars?)

I also had a BHAG (big hairy audacious goal) of 2,000, which would make me a very strong player.

But, there are not many adult starters / resumers who achieve that. It’s a unicorn status. Our brains just can’t absorb as effectively as kids who are being coached, even if we have the best coaches in the world. Plus, life gets in the way much more as an adult!

I’ve hit come to terms with the fact that I may never hit 2,000. But for the year ahead, I want to continue to develop without impacting the other areas of my life, and I’d like to be at a point where I could realistically show up at a tournament over the board and not humiliate myself.

As a final note, I entered a tournament last night. It was great fun, for players rated 1,700 and below. It was ‘rapid’, meaning 10 minutes each, and unlike the kids who knock out three minute games, I prefer slightly longer per match and tend to play at 15 minutes, so time pressure was a challenge. Here was my standing a match before the end (I actually dropped a couple of places as some matches were finishing up). Still, 8th out of 196 is something I’m mega proud of!

Carl Reader is a WH Smith Bestselling Author and international keynote speaker with a real passion for helping people do better. There are two ways to learn more about Carl! You can either follow him on Social Media if you’re just curious (@carlreader on most platforms), or if you’d like to learn a little more about what he does on stage, through content and in the media from a commercial perspective, you can visit his website at www.carlreader.com

You can buy a copy of his last book BOSS IT online, wherever you are in the world. And of course, I’d love you to subscribe to this community to be the first to see everything I have to share - just click the button below. It’s free of charge!

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The app that I recommend, Endel, has been truly transformative at times I need to instigate focus myself rather than rely on my own hyper-focus tendencies. In full disclosure, the link is an affiliate link which gives us both some extra free of charge time to try / use the app.

I’m neurodiverse. And my specific brand of ‘neuro-spiciness’ is ADHD.

Yes, that buzzword that everyone seems to use as a superpower. As a special gift.

For me, that’s not been the case.

It has been, and can be, simply debilitating.

I first learned about ADHD when I was in my late twenties. I was finding that I was struggling so much with the details of life, and it had started to creep into my career. Before then, I had no idea what ADHD was.

It started with a passing comment from a guy at a neighbouring business of the dt group. We were chatting as usual and he mentioned that he’d been to a psychologist who had diagnosed him, he’d started taking some medication, and that it had quite literally changed his life.

It felt like he was encouraging me to look into it. I think he may have even given me the contact details! You see, I’m good at picking up clues like that…

So, I asked him straight - do you think I should look into it? And I still remember his words today:

“If I’m ADHD, you’re definitely f***ing ADHD!”

Anyway, I did my research. Filled in some online questionnaires and yes, I was definitely ticking the right boxes! I was always good at exams. I spoke to my then partner, who was always very insightful with her views, and she agreed that it should be checked out. I spoke to a couple of close colleagues, one who started calling me “ADHD boy”, which made a refreshing change from “Gucci Queen”! As you can imagine, my colleagues would’ve loved me to be a bit more like them.

One question however stuck out in my mind. For the diagnosis there has to be evidence that this stuff isn’t recent, and often they like to see school reports and learn more about your childhood from others.

This was the bit that I thought might lead it away from ADHD.

After all, I got into a grammar school; and at primary school I was in a spelling group on my own, had private computer programming lessons away from the rest of the class, qualified for Mensa, and was put up a year. Surely I was an amazing child?

So I spoke to Dad.

And he confirmed I’d always been odd. I won’t repeat his words as they were almost certainly stronger than my business neighbours!

On reflection, he was right. Whilst I guess I was gifted, I didn’t appreciate that gift at all. I’d conveniently forgotten the fact that I sacked off Fridays because I didn’t like Geography, my school reports slid downhill faster than a dropped pound coin, and ultimately I left school before my GCSE’s to start a YTS in hairdressing. Risking my grades (which yes, would have been impacted by this) to do something that I thought was a better / easier job than working in my Dad’s factory, if he had a job going.

Went to GP. GP agreed with diagnosis. GP tried to sell me onto the benefits of anti depressants. This is, I understand, a common theme for many who tried to seek advice before the increased awareness of ADHD and its impact on adults. Whilst the NHS wait is extraordinarily long, at least they now have the appropriate support available.

During my 30’s, it got tougher and tougher. A childhood friend recently mentioned that her daughter likens it to having a washing machine on full spin in your mind. I can only agree.

Whilst there are some advantages I guess (?), the underlying condition stops me from functioning like a normal human being in so many ways.

I’ve left a brand new car outside a petrol garage - not just unlocked - but with the keys in and the engine running. And walked back to the office.

I regularly leave my keys in the front door, welcoming all and sundry to come in and take their pick of my personal possessions. Having my wallet with me is a rare treat, as is only needing to spend £50 to replace items I’d forgotten to pack when abroad. For day to day life, it can be simply overwhelming. And things that may irritate other people, such as leaving cupboards open and so on, are things that I just can’t see. For some reason, my brain moves on before the task has had a chance to catch up.

Many call it a superpower, Sadly, I call it a true curse that limits my enjoyment of life, my ability to function, and increases my risk of something dreadful happening.

Anyway, I reached breaking point, and sought help again. This time, a psychiatrist diagnosed me, and I decided that I’d rather be medicated this time.

Truly life changing.

Tough at first, very tough. The headaches were real, and apparently I had mood swings, which I guess would be similar to those that you’d get on anti depressants or other mind related drugs. But the calm was an unbelievable feeling. I was actually present in the moment.

Sadly, the impact of the drugs dies down over time. I was very quickly titrated to the maximum dose permitted, and have top ups as well due to the fact that they tail off quickly. Now, I’d say that I get maybe 10 - 20% relief from them? Certainly not anywhere near the dramatic impact of the early days.

So, I’ve had to learn a bunch of coping mechanisms, both over the years and recently. Here’s what helps me:

Public Accountability - if I say I’m going to do something, I do it. So, I tend to make things public. Us ADHD’ers have a fair few traits that impact us, and one of those is RSD (Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria), which leads us to become people pleasers. The last thing we want to do is have someone shun us. Combine that with heightened empathy (which doesn’t impact everyone with ADHD) and it tears us apart to let someone down. So, sharing what I’m doing - even if a low level task - really helps motivate me and encourages the ‘hyper focus’ that is another quite contradictory trait of ADHD.

Playing Chess - I spend some free time playing chess (which will be a subject of a future post). It is an utterly addictive game and unusually, works well for those who are neurodiverse. Those who are autistic tend to excel in pattern recognition, which sadly isn’t a strength of mine. So for me, the training helps to improve pattern recognition, and playing helps to sharpen my ability to focus and not be distracted.

Focus Music - I use an app called Endel to help me focus in so many scenarios. It creates soundscapes which are almost like a massage for the brain, that’s the only way I can describe it. I use it when working, when clearing the inbox, and when playing chess. And as evidence that it works, my chess ELO increased by a significant amount in two days, with the only difference being that I wasn’t distracted by all and sundry as usual.

Sound Baths - yes, it might sound crazy, but sound baths are a meditation where someone strikes various gongs. Truly relaxing, and helps to unwind the mind a little for some temporary relief.

Organisation Systems - whilst I just can’t get along with digital organisation, I have a different box for all of my things and make sure that once a week, I do a sweep and put everything in their place. I’m not diligent enough to keep to it at all times, but it really helps me knowing where my car keys are, and helps to limit the number of times I leave home and have to go back. Similarly, structuring where things are so that there’s less reason to forget something.

Smart Home Automation - the forgetfulness isn’t just limited to the car or my keys. I have set up smart home automation to automatically turn off lights, heating and so on every day. A perfect example of why this is needed was in my face on Sunday night! I cooked in my oven for the first time in 18 months. Yes, I had to text a friend to make sure I’d set it correctly. Safe to say I have the cleanest kitchen in Essex! I heard beeping at 2am (whilst I was on a random dopamine hunt, doom scrolling). Yes, oven was left on… and the only reason I learned of this was due to brushing past the timer minutes before after grabbing something from the fridge. At the time of cooking, my mind simply moved on to something else - who’d have thought the oven needed switching off when food was removed? Apparently not me.

App Blockers - personally I used Freedom, but struggled with recent updates despite having a lifetime membership. These stop you from going down random rabbit holes.

Replacing the Dopamine Hunt - this is a *big* one. My understanding is that ADHD symptoms arise from the brains inability to convert dopamine properly. So, we have ‘dopamine hunts’. My catnip was always binge eating and online shopping. Medication helped somewhat, and I noticed that my Amazon order emails were all in the evening, rather than at any time - the pills helped but not completely. So, knowing that the hunt is still there, I actively found other ways to replace that dopamine target. With knowledge comes power, and I gained the power to improve the things that motivated me and gave me those unnecessary ticks that my brain craves. Having said that, I’m just thankful it’s never been illegal drugs, alcohol, or gambling, like so many succumb to.

So there you have it! I’m an open book with this stuff. Any questions - just ask - but remember, I can only share lived experiences, and of course, I’m not a medical professional.

Carl Reader is a WH Smith Bestselling Author and international keynote speaker with a real passion for helping people do better. There are two ways to learn more about Carl! You can either follow him on Social Media if you’re just curious (@carlreader on most platforms), or if you’d like to learn a little more about what he does on stage, through content and in the media from a commercial perspective, you can visit his website at www.carlreader.com

You can buy a copy of his last book BOSS IT online, wherever you are in the world. And of course, I’d love you to subscribe to this community to be the first to see everything I have to share - just click the button below. It’s free of charge!

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Those who know me would know that I have, unusually, kept myself to myself over the last year and a half. It has been a turbulent year personally, and a testing year in business.

Before you shed any tears for me, fear not - it’s all good and lots of great stuff happening - but, I simply haven’t had the time or the energy for the trimmings.

This week, I caught up with the ‘Dream Team’. I’ve known each of them for years, some longer than others, and all of the guys are cracking people as well as prominent people in the finance / business world. I first met Kev as editor of Accountancy Age, James as Assistant Business Editor at The Times, and Nick as Nick… that bloke is *everywhere*. And as for Bobby… well, Bobby is simply a legend. The face of Shelley Stock Hunter (later part of Blick Rothenburg), he has left his marks on both the accountancy world and the business press.

A great time was had by all. But that’s not the point of this post.

Business is not B2B or B2C. It’s H2H. Human to Human

I’d been guilty of letting the B2B get into the way of the H2H. And after a while, it starts to bite.

Don’t get me wrong. It has been a tremendously exciting time at the dt group. (Yes, we’ve rebranded). New offices, new ventures, all sorts. And in the last few months, we’ve set a six month strategy and smashed the first couple of months of it, exceeding all expectations.

But these things take a toll.

Something has to give.

And for me, over the last 18 months, that’s been my social media - which has been patchy at best - and being out and about. Doing what I do best.

Well, I’m glad to say that the boy is back in town!

I know many people class networking as ‘not working’. And to the untrained eye, that’s probably how it looks.

Here’s the thing. People don’t suddenly gain a huge amount of trust in you from an advert. They don’t suddenly like you from a PR piece. These things take investment of far more than money. It’s an emotional connection which leads to a mutual trust, reassurance, and potentially even a friendship. Only then will people truly want to do business with you.

The second myth is that when networking, you should sell to the people you are networking with. To that, all I can say is “behave yourself”.

Do you go to a networking event to buy stuff? Probably not.

Do you get excited at the thought of chucking away 10 crumpled business cards after an ear bashing from lots of salespeople? Nah.

Don’t inflict that misery on others!

When it comes to building a network - and I like to think I’ve done OK at this stuff - it’s more about putting out the right energy and just meeting people. If stuff happens, great. But don’t force it.

Nine times out of ten, your ideal buyer is actually a friend or contact of the person you’ve built a connection with.

And you never know where that connection can come from.

So for now, the boy is back in town! Yes, the below picture was shared by Kev on Instagram, and yes he had Thin Lizzy as the audio. I can’t get it out of my head, so consider it my gift to you - I’m paying it forwards…

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Carl Reader is a WH Smith Bestselling Author and international keynote speaker with a real passion for helping people do better. There are two ways to learn more about Carl! You can either follow him on Social Media if you’re just curious (@carlreader on most platforms), or if you’d like to learn a little more about what he does on stage, through content and in the media from a commercial perspective, you can visit his website at www.carlreader.com.

You can buy a copy of his last book BOSS IT online, wherever you are in the world. And of course, I’d love you to subscribe to this community to be the first to see everything I have to share - just click the button below. It’s free of charge!

There’s an important disclaimer which applies to all content shared on this Substack, available at the bottom of the about page, together with the statutory information that is required to be shared under current UK legislation.

Bear with me…!

One of the strangest phenomena that I’ve experienced in this strange thing we call life is the financial thermostat. I’ve nicked this term from the author of “The Millionaire Mindset”, T Harv Eker. It’s an old book but it still holds true.

The concept is dead simple.

Basically, we all have an inner thermostat that we revert to. Just like the thermostat at home (if you’re based in the UK, imagine you are somewhere with air conditioning). Whether the weather is freezing cold or boiling hot, the temperature always returns to a nice comfortable 21 degrees celsius, unless you set it higher.

Eker contends that this applies to our finances too. That we all have a pre defined ‘temperature’, and until we consciously decide to change it, we always revert to our default.

This might sound like nonsense, but we’ve all heard about the skint lottery winners. And many of us have come across the amazingly prudent low earners who end up with a very nice bank balance, just because that’s how they are.

The concept of the thermostat isn’t particularly fascinating to me. I think that there are so many things in life where we have a baseline level. The thing that interests me with all of these kinds of things is how we change them.

And this is where coffee at Novikov reminded me of something I’d forgotten.

Now, this was something that I’d taught myself to do intuitively a decade or so ago.

Those who met with me during the late early 2010’s will likely have experienced the change of my thermostat. Coffees at Bulgari Hotel in Knightsbridge, whilst I take notes with an 18kt Mont Blanc.

Forget the pen - that part seems ridiculous now that I count the last time I used ink in years not hours. But the coffee - this was a direct implementation of Eker’s lessons, and it worked.

He argued that the only way to become comfortable with having more money and living a nicer life was to experience it and embrace it. By making a conscious choice to spend more money that you have to.

So I did that.

Now, the accountants in the room will probably flip.

After all, there was a Starbucks around the corner.

But seriously… why would I endure the Starbucks opposite Harrods, complete with ridiculous queues for both the coffee and the toilets, when I can sit in luxury for a couple of quid more? Why would I endure the awful coffee, when I can enjoy decent coffee for a couple of quid more? And before I start talking about the free of charge sweets, let’s actually think about the important thing.

The people I met also got to enjoy it.

For two of us, the price difference would likely be all of five or six quid.

If it was a work meeting, it’s on me to make that pay back by the bucketload.

And personally - well, it’s a whole lot more memorable to spend down time with those you choose to when you choose somewhere nicer than the easy option!

Even though these were probably 10-15 years ago, I remember work meetings and chatting with Paul about his bespoke shirts, Vicky about her upbringing,  Mick about his Porsche, having cocktails with Mikey… but as for Starbucks meetings? They blended into one.

There were (at least) two people at each of those meetings. It won’t be just me who remembers those…!

So, I guess my own experience validates to me why choosing a nice venue for a meeting is obvious. Let’s say £3 more, for two people, on four occasions. I’m sure I made £24 from these, and that’s presuming I paid for all of them. Maybe some of you needed that validation but for many, it will be obvious. But…

Why should you pay for it when alone?

The thermostat.

When I was in Dubai last week, I had a spare day on Saturday.

I’d had a hectic week that ended up unexpectedly eventful, and unexpectedly successful. I needed downtime, I had stuff to catch up on, and frankly I was frazzled.

My thermostat was also turned down to one degree above freezing! After an expensive divorce, the battles every business owner faced with COVID, and frankly a finger that needs pulling out with respect to my speaking and other activities, I’ll be honest. I’d become acclimatised to saving a few quid wherever I could. Evidenced by the *awful* Chinese takeaway the night before, to save a few Dirhams…

Anyway, after a walk to Dubai Mall to clear my head, I looked up and saw Novikov, and in that moment I recalled the thermostat. The thermostat that had been turned down due to previous events, and not returned to where it should - no… where it *needs* to - be.

Here’s what happened:

• I enjoyed the first cup of coffee all week. I sipped it slowly. And filled in this time with making a start on clearing those emails that had backed up

• I spent some time enjoying the environment, allowing my head to calm down a little

• Similarly, I sat still for about an hour, rather than queueing, drinking a coffee from a cardboard cup, whilst making myself busy but unproductive

• I saw the obscene wealth of some of the other guests - this led me to a place of wonder, inspiration, creativity, and a number of questions in my mind. If they can do it, why can’t I?

Most importantly, I remembered what I need to do. Personally and professionally.

Now there will be some who will still question whether the extra two or three pounds is worth it. If that list wasn’t compelling enough, I just want to hit you with the most unexpected part of it all.

I decided to have lunch there afterwards. And another drink. The grand total was about thirty quid.

The coffee was cheaper than the hotel coffee, which I gulped down in the hope I couldn’t taste it.

The chicken salad was cheaper than the dreadful Chinese takeaway, the box of which was smaller than the plastic fork it came with.

The time out was a much needed pattern interrupt in my way of thinking.

And the time out was likely far more productive than any of the hours I spent queuing for “cheaper” coffee.

So, what can I suggest for you?

If you don’t want to read Eker’s book (which, by the way, I do highly recommend), then please just do this one thing. Next time you are in a city, buy coffee from the very best hotel, rather than a chain.

Take a moment for yourself. Or, enjoy the meeting in a great environment. Savour the taste, savour the experience, and let your mind decide how best to take value from it.

Do that a couple of times, and you’ll start tweaking that thermostat if like me, you grew up without a wealthy mindset.

Enjoy x

Personal note. I’ve been exceptionally busy the last few weeks, and have only just learned how to forward schedule posts! So, based on my self awareness, I’ll be moving these to a once weekly cadence. I’ll be testing and measuring a few things so you might not see some consistency in the timings just yet. But at least I’ve now got some time, on a Sunday evening, thousands of feet above mainland Europe, to do this!

Let’s call this one a Monday Musing…

Carl Reader is a WH Smith Bestselling Author and international keynote speaker with a real passion for helping people do better. There are two ways to learn more about Carl! You can either follow him on Social Media if you’re just curious (@carlreader on most platforms), or if you’d like to learn a little more about what he does on stage, through content and in the media from a commercial perspective, you can visit his website.

You can buy a copy of his last book BOSS IT here, wherever you are in the world. And of course, I’d love you to subscribe to this community to be the first to see everything I have to share - just click the button below. It’s free of charge!

Subscribe now

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Instead, it relates to things we know we need to do but are likely to either put off or, worse still, consciously decide to do something that is much more fun. Often to the detriment of our health, our wealth, or our work.

This stuff has been on my mind recently.

For part of the context, I’ve been head down and focused most of this week on a project for the next six months at the dt group. This evolved into creating an interim strategy, and the project plan to at the very least get this kicked off.

One of the big problems with anything like this is retaining the motivation once it becomes a bit boring. Once started, how do you finish?

I’ve had the same problem personally too.

I created some accountability systems there. They’ll likely be the topic of a more business focused blog. For now, I want to talk about the personal accountability.

This project comes off the back of an extremely hectic time at work. Since August, we have done some *big stuff* which can’t be shared just yet - although may be public by the time this is released. In addition to that, I’ve been to several countries, opened our office in Southend formally, recruited our first Essex team member, sorted the rebranding, kicked off conversations with overseas partners, set up plans around my personal content creation, all sorts. It has been a month of sheer energy and busy-ness.

And my body is feeling it.

I realised I hadn’t had a day off. For the WHOLE MONTH.

(And a bit more in fact. Just before this all kicked off, my dressing room fell apart. It had to be sorted before I headed to Saudi and Dubai for events).

I haven’t been sleeping until 3 am regularly, despite efforts to do better. Some nights have been inadvertent all nighters.

My skin has started to show eczema for the first time in a couple of years.

My diet has gone to pot. I’m carrying a few extra kilo’s and a constant sugar headache. My nutrition consists of Haribo and Cadbury’s.

Fun fact: I did a quick tally up of just my dinner last night. Large German Doner Kebab meal with extra meat. Can of Fanta. 4 extra spring rolls. Extra sauce. One pack of Ginger Nut biscuits. Half a pack of Custard Cremes. Two (yes two) share bags of sweets - Fruit Pastilles and Wine Gums. Two apples. A banana. And the day before, I had a Pizza Hut meal deal, a share bag of Haribo fizzy cola bottles, and a multipack of Snickers bars as a starter. Yes, a multipack. Slightly better than last night, but…

No wonder I’m not sleeping well, feeling great, and so on.

The thing is, we set the standards that we tolerate. And often, those standards are far lower than we’d want them to be.

I’ve loved my weight loss, but it wasn’t all about weight.

Part of it was forced on me through the changes in my life, part through health.

I loved it.

I looked better, felt better, was better.

For the first time in my adult life, I’d been getting female attention (possibly due to the fact that I’m single for the first time so am now noticing it, but regardless I’ll take it as a win!).

For the first time in 5 years, I was no longer the biggest in the room. Not so much belly, but sheer size. Arms the size of my very fat neck. I could start wearing ordinary clothes again. No longer getting awful rashes, struggling to breathe, sore joints, and so much more.

For the first time in 10 years, I was no longer the chubby one. A ‘bigger lad’. Who’s clothes always looked like an extreme version of the slim fit trend kicked off by Dior just a few years before, even if marked up as ‘relaxed’.

For the first time in 15 years (if not longer), I tipped into the 75kgs. Then the 73s…

Why wasn’t that enough?

I’d hit my target.

I’d reached the ‘goal’.

The ‘goal’ was basically to look good in a t shirt, and I got there. But it wasn't the real goal. I knew logically about the benefits of exercise and weight loss. I’d seen some of them. But all I cared about was a number and a look.

Wardrobe refreshed, feeling amazing, I lapped up the comments and compliments.

But inside, over the last month, I haven’t felt as good inside as the outside shows. Yes, it is still a huge weight loss, and no, no-one will see 3kgs extra if they haven’t seen me since before the massive drop (which is most people to be honest). But I’m feeling the sluggishness of a different man.

So, I spoke to Lorenzo*, my PT, about next steps. I desperately needed accountability.

(Side note - I’d spoke to him before, about two months ago I guess, and nothing happened after. With hindsight, I’d already hit the goal that I repeated on the day - look good in t shirts).

This time, our chat was different.

I was totally open and honest. I want my sleep back. I want delineation between work and home to allow me to enjoy and be my best at both. I want to be fit and fighting during the gruelling six months ahead (yeah, thanks accountability…). And I don’t want to get anywhere near the weight I was, nor stay where I am.

The drivers this time are different. It’s no longer just about kgs. It’s about life.

So, what accountability systems and thinking am I putting in place?

I share these in the hope that they may help encourage you if you need to do similar.

1. I made three very small commitments at the end of our catchup. That I’d download the training app (I didn’t last time!), that I’d write this blog to help me think through everything, and that I’d send him a body scanner I mentioned.

2. I reflected on what worked before. During the first months of my weight loss I was incredibly motivated by the body scanner at Anytime Fitness. I decided to treat myself to a home one for the grand sum of £150 or so. It may not be as precise as the mega bucks ones, but it’ll at least show a path. And getting a breakdown of muscle in body areas is always interesting!

3. I reflected on what can demonstrate success. As it’s not about weight, I had to think about what I can do to know when I’ve ‘made it’. Clearly, from the above, data is key. I toyed with a Whoop band but I can’t bring myself to pay monthly - a personal finance goal of mine is to leave the subscription economy behind. So, I’m currently weighing up Athlytic and my Apple Watch - a much more reasonable £25 or so per month - and other options. I want to track things like readiness, sleep scores, and so on.

4. I’ve kicked off thinking about wider wellbeing. I’ve moved my laptop to a permanent home at home, so that I only work there or in the office. I’ve also committed to creating a schedule for personal development and mindfulness in the same way I will for the gym.

5. I’ve started taking a note of everything about this, daily. After all, what gets measured gets managed.

6. I’m being choosy about my gym. I need a combo of three things. Adequate equipment, motivated members, and a decent atmosphere. I’ve joined enough gyms to know which ones get me back. Personally I like ones where people are a step above me, and ones with sunbeds and jacuzzis. But I don’t like bell ends, which wipes out most of the second set of gyms. I’ll likely join a gym focused on bodybuilding, so I can take inspiration from those around me. The empty golf club gyms just don’t do it for me… I become an 80 year old like everyone else!

7. I’m *begging* Lorenzo for the right kind of accountability. This will be a work in progress to find the right way for me, as I’m an oddball. But it will need to cover food and exercise.

8. I’m building in a reward system. Once I know my baseline metrics, I’ll build a reward system based on stuff I *really* want. I may even find a way to get Lorenzo to administer it to avoid cheating :-)

I’ve saved the best ‘til last…

I’m sharing my data and journey, warts and all. It’s an easy bit of content for me to create, and I really want to test some research and hypotheses that I’ve previously done for my next book. Let’s road test it. Plus, you lot can hold me accountable if you so wish. You can basically see the contents of my planner!

So, there you have it! Join me on this journey, I’ll share my progress and thinking along the way. It’s so much harder for a vain bloke like me to focus on anything beyond biceps and a flat belly - here’s hoping that the thinking works and I can demonstrate both some quantitative and qualitative results!

*Note that Lorenzo has kindly gifted me his time and input and is just as excited to see what the results are - we both strongly believe that life is interconnected, let’s find a shred of proof and perhaps some insights from a bald Essex boy.

Carl Reader is a WH Smith Bestselling Author and international keynote speaker with a real passion for helping people do better. There are two ways to learn more about Carl! You can either follow him on Social Media if you’re just curious (@carlreader on most platforms), or if you’d like to learn a little more about what he does on stage, through content and in the media from a commercial perspective, you can visit his website.

You can buy a copy of his last book BOSS IT here, wherever you are in the world. And of course, I’d love you to subscribe to this community to be the first to see everything I have to share - just click the button below. It’s free of charge!

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I’ve already shared my views about the demise of social media. Not just here. Or here. I’ve shared it with everyone who can or will listen, whether they like it or not. The bought blue ticks, filters, TikTok trends… it’s all a nonsense.

Most of these social media platforms started off well. Let’s be honest, they wouldn’t have got traction otherwise. But over time, the downside bites. Supply and demand dictates that an algorithm is needed. Conduct becomes culture, and it evolves over time. And of course, the adverts. Someone’s got to pay for all this stuff.

I had a chat earlier this week with my friend Richard, and we were discussing the problems with LinkedIn. I used to *love* LinkedIn. It was a lazy man’s CRM system. Add everyone you know, they update their contact details, no cleansing required. Job done.

About 8 - 10 years ago, it started becoming social.

And I nailed it (in my opinion)! Not quite to my Twitter levels, but I built up to the 30k before you can’t accept any more.

I learned exactly how to construct a post for virality, and 50k views was a bad performer.

I tested and measured performance of live vs pre record video, image vs text, polls, you name it, I tried it.

I was part (albeit a very small part) of the downside. I was biting another platform.

The tipping point for me was when I split test two posts:

Post one was a post about a webinar I’d been invited to host. I shared the really valuable stuff that could’ve put at least twenty grand into every single attendees pockets if they took action.

Post two was a post about a webinar, yup the same one. I shared the fact that I wore an animal print jumper on it.

Guess which one did better?

Post two knocked it out of the park. A home run.

Another bite.

The thing is, I genuinely want to educate and motivate through my content. I have no interest in prancing around to the Macarena or doing whatever else the kids are doing in the hope that I may too appear to be ‘with it’. And I’m fully mindful that I - nor in fact any of my peers - will ever become a Kardashian.

As such, content creation has to be either fun, a creative outlet, or business. I’ve chosen the second.

So that’s the why.

How do I do it, now I’ve refocused back onto writing?

Here goes…

The ideation part is easy.

I have a page on my Notes app, and I write down every idea that comes to mind.

I never use them.

At the end of the day, I think about three thoughts that would have been article worthy. This one is usually easy as well. I disregard two by putting them into that notebook, never to be seen again. And I write about the one that was saved. Call it quality control, filtration, or choosing the easy option. Either works.

I only do this at the end of the day. For me it serves as a transition between my work day and my evening. Being neurodiverse, I sometimes need to enforce a marked transition to help me shift gears. A physical office helps, as does a commute. And I’ve found that writing an article, however short, also is a way for me to switch off at the end of the day; regardless of the depths of my hyper focus.

Now, I’ll touch on my writing style.

This might sound crazy, but I’m a three times published author, was a bestseller in WH Smiths Travel, have been stocked in all the major book shops, I’ve seen my book globally… and I got a D at English GCSE.

(Told you that you were a dickhead, Mr Tkacziw. Your poxy metaphors and similes couldn’t knock out three published books like my writing did).

I’m fortunate that I have an eye for when things jump out as wrong, but I’m also conscious that my grammar isn’t perfect, and over the years my spelling has declined too.

So how do I do it?

I say the words in my head as if I’m speaking and I write them down. I don’t overthink it.

Most of us have a ‘writing’ tone of voice that we use. Often, especially if we work in the professions, it’s overly formal. In fact, overly formal is a perfect example of the nonsense tone of voice. It sounds like you’ve got something shoved up your backside and you’re trying to still sound professional.

Instead, I try to write how I’d talk, as much as my mind and hands let me.

I overuse commas, and, exclamation marks! But to be honest I don’t care. As long as what I write makes sense and has value, I don’t worry too much about the style of writing.

Apart from the flow.

I try to embrace the differences in pace that I’d use in my talks, and I try to practice ways of making my paragraphs tell a story far beyond the words alone. I reckon no one notices it. But it’s fun trying.

This stuff however is just me being a bit geeky.

And practicing for the non existent novel that I may write, one day.

The big thing though, is that I do it. I let everything out, and I get it onto paper. Digitally. No plan, no vision, just words and an idea.

As I said earlier, before I waffled on about grammar and tone of voice, I do this at the end of the day. And today, I am ‘fresh’ at 9pm after 14,000 words of a strategy plan for an exciting new project. But, a thousand or so more won’t hurt. These ones are more fun.

I try to post three times a week, and I’m in the office three times a week, at the moment.

Will that pace continue if there are changes in my life?

Will it continue if I get bored?

Haven’t got a clue.

For now, I’m just doing what I do.

Carl Reader is a WH Smith Bestselling Author and international keynote speaker with a real passion for helping people do better. There are two ways to learn more about Carl! You can either follow him on Social Media if you’re just curious (@carlreader on most platforms), or if you’d like to learn a little more about what he does on stage, through content and in the media from a commercial perspective, you can visit his website.

You can buy a copy of his last book BOSS IT here, wherever you are in the world. And of course, I’d love you to subscribe to this community to be the first to see everything I have to share - just click the button below. It’s free of charge!

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• My views on the challenges of going it alone, and not listening to others

• My process for learning more about myself and how I can improve

• A copy of the exact email I sent this afternoon to seek counsel from others

One of the toughest things to do is to take a step back and look at yourself.

In a world of filters - and I don’t just mean the Instagram type - we often lose sight of who we are. What stands out about us, and where we can improve. Self appraisal is one of the most difficult things for us to do.

If you haven’t done already, a holistic self appraisal is one of the very best things that you can do.

But it’s not a job that you can do alone, in your own mirror.

I’ve been away from the ‘circuit’ for just over a year. I haven’t had the time nor the headspace to be able to focus on speaking slots or brand ambassadorships.

Now that I’m looking to restart this, I need to look at myself.

But what will I see?

The memories of what was there once upon a time?

The views of myself and the world that I’ve carried from that time?

A harsh critique, or an over inflated view?

Our self appraisals, whilst important, are often tainted. Call it a real life filter!

I’ve decided to perform a holistic self appraisal. Just like the type you would get in the workplace. Seeking the views of those I trust, in order to help me view myself in a more accurate way. Removing myself away from the negative and the positive self talk which might be sitting there in my mind.

It’s a brave step, but a necessary step.

So, what did I do?

Take advice on the wider project

I don’t know what I don’t know. Things change at a remarkable pace in today’s world. The first thing that I absolutely had to do was to check that the wall upon which I wanted to lean my ladder against was the right wall. I needed to speak to those in that world to understand what the current market place looks like, where the gaps are, and where I could fill them.

For that, there was one man for the job. Murray.

Murray Harkin has been a very good friend of mine over the years, and historically we worked on a number of initiatives in the TV and media world. He is one of the most well connected people I know in that scene. Murray was pivotal in securing my press columns, and has always been an unwavering advocate of mine. He acted as my publicist a few years ago, and not only is he good at his job, but also an astute thinker in the world of media relations.

We had the opportunity to chat about this, amongst many other things, recently.

He filled in the blanks that are there since my last foray in this world.

Find those who can appraise you in the areas you want to be appraised.

If I want to do this, I need to understand what those on the other side of the table think. So, I thought of two people who would be by far the very best people to appraise me.

Enter Kate and Jules.

Both of these wonderful ladies are experienced marketers, but perhaps more importantly, I know that they won’t pull any punches. If they think I’m a dick, they’ll tell me.

I went, cap in hand, and asked them for their help. And I’m ever thankful that they agreed to answer a few questions.

They’ll probably regret that when they see the list! 😁

Right, those jobs were done, I found the right people. I’d better…

Design an appraisal form for them to be able to tear me apart!

I created a list of 10 questions which I sent to each of them. I gave them the opportunity for it to be a ‘sh*t sandwich’ by allowing them a space for praise as well as constructive advice. But really, I need to know what I need to improve on in order to be able to improve.

Here was my ask:

Hey Jules,

So, firstly thank you so much!

As mentioned I'm rebooting my speaking / brand work after a year and a bit in the wilderness. Loads has changed in the wider world and I want to make sure that I have a grasp both on that but also an honest self reflection to understand what I do well, and not so well. 

Here's a list of questions. I appreciate your unfiltered views, and any advice you might have as well! Feel free just to answer inline.

1. As a 'personal brand', what do I do well?

2. As a 'personal brand', what could I improve on?

3. As a 'marketer', could you rank the below list from not needed to must have, insofar as things that you'd look for in a brand ambassador? Please also add any comments. For example, if you feel that your choice with a hypothetical company might be different than a choice of a much smaller / larger organisation. And I guess most importantly, anything I've missed!

Brand ambassador's reach & engagement

Brand ambassador's press / TV coverage

Brand ambassador being on stages speaking to your audiences

Brand ambassador's credibility and experience in your market

Direct correlation between individual activities and sales

Increasing brand love through education and community

Authentic reason for the ambassadorship to be in place

'Look and feel' of the brand ambassador

4. As an 'event organiser', what do you look for in speakers (perhaps the three top things in order that make you think 'hell yes')?

5. How do you typically find brand ambassadors?

6. How do you typically find speakers?

7. Brainstorm time - if I had a magic wand, what could I do to make myself absolutely irresistible and a no brainer to book as a brand ambassador?

8. Brainstorm time - if I had a magic wand, what could I do to make myself absolutely irresistible and a no brainer to book as a speaker?

9. The thorny issue - agents. Love them? Hate them? Anything in between?

10. If you were me, what would you do?

BONUS: Final and toughest one. If you don't want to do this one as it's more than a 30 second answer, I totally understand! Would you be kind enough to skim read carlreader.com, and let me know your thoughts? Pertinently - does it sum me up? What should I scrap? What else should I include?

Thank you so so much for this! I value your views, and am only reaching out to two or three people on this. It will really help me, and I'll owe you one.

All the best

Carl

I’ve done this kind of thing before. I know that you can get some brutally honest feedback, and that more often you get the things that the recipient hopes you want to hear.

The brutal truth is what I’m after.

I focused my questions in three key areas:

1. What can I improve on, and what should I have comfort in through knowing I do it well;

2. How do those on the other side of the table think, feel, and make decisions; and

3. The unknown unknowns - what are the things that I haven’t even considered

I have no idea what there feedback will be. Due to my propensity to over share, I felt it best to write this article as soon as I clicked send. I know this can be valuable for some of you, but I didn’t want it to be forever suppressed if my ego takes a blow.

Plus, my current cadence of writing, and indeed the fact that this acts as a form of closure for me on each work day, is leading to a nice batch of articles which are scheduled over the coming weeks.

By the time you read this, I could be a quivering wreck crying in the corner, getting my head around how differently the world perceives me compared to my own self image!

From my previous holistic self appraisals, I know the feedback - whilst sometimes initially painful - is fundamental insofar as understanding what the next steps that you need to take are.

Here goes.

Let’s see what comes back, and how it contributes to what I do next.

I know that whatever the responses, they will be tremendously valuable. And, that I truly do owe them one.

For anyone else wanting to do better or be better in any field - whether that’s in the services you offer your clients, your performance in your career, your progress in the gym, or anything else - this stuff is magic.

As they say, feedback is the breakfast of champions. And I’m gonna swallow it, even if it tastes worse than raw eggs mixed in a protein shake.

Watch this space!

Carl Reader is a WH Smith Bestselling Author and international keynote speaker with a real passion for helping people do better. There are two ways to learn more about Carl! You can either follow him on Social Media if you’re just curious (@carlreader on most platforms), or if you’d like to learn a little more about what he does on stage, through content and in the media from a commercial perspective, you can visit his website.

You can buy a copy of his last book BOSS IT here, wherever you are in the world. And of course, I’d love you to subscribe to this community to be the first to see everything I have to share - just click the button below. It’s free of charge!

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• A business concept that can be applied to life.

• A way to help keep you on top of your game, whatever that game is.

• A reminder to always seek constant and never ending improvement.

I’m going to kick off by talking about an accounting concept I learned - and how it can be applied to life, hobbies, relationships, sport, work, and business. As you can guess, it also works for finances!

I’ve made a living not by being excellent at accounting. Far from it. Where I like to think I’ve stood out is the ability to translate what can seem to be complex things into plain English. So here goes…

The concept is called Zero Based Budgeting.

It means “don’t copy last years homework”.

This concept is intended to help those who make financial decisions to approach the new month / quarter / year with fresh eyes. Instead of looking at what you earned or spent the year before and using that as an ‘anchor’, you have a blank sheet of paper and work out what it should be.

A blank canvas, if you like.

Personally, I think it’s an amazing approach to use. It helps remove all preconceived ideas of what should happen, and provokes fresh thinking every time it is used. In the accounting world, it may be that you start questioning “why are we paying that?” or even “what is that actually for”.

Wouldn’t it be obvious to use this in our own lives?

It’s not about numbers. It’s about thinking.

Thinking without bias, thinking without limits, thinking without a crib sheet.

Yes it might be far tougher than copying last years homework. But, I can guarantee you that thinking rather than copying will lead to a more educated approach. Even if the end result is the same!

(Correct. Even if it is the same. You’ll know that it actually has been thought about).

You’re probably thinking something along the lines of “what is this bloke going on about? I don’t do budgeting for my hobby.”

Let me use an example of a hobby I’ve taken up recently - chess.

For those who know the game, you will know that it is deceptively difficult. Mastering the basic moves and concepts is easy, but as you delve deeper into it, you open a whole new world.

Firstly tactics such as ‘forks’ and ‘pins’. Then strategies and proven opening systems which can be used by both sides. Endgame positions and middle game tactics. Understanding imbalances, probabilities, visualisation and calculation. And on top of all that, the psychology of different players and playing styles.

It’s a minefield, and the depths to which one can sink are perhaps best summed up by the quote from Paul Morphy:

“The ability to play chess is the sign of a gentleman. The ability to play chess well is the sign of a wasted life.”

So. How do you get good at chess? Learning.

How do you learn today? Probably the same way you did yesterday.

If you spend your time playing, you probably continue to play.

If you spend Mondays working on openings and Tuesdays working on endgames, you’ll probably do the same next week.

Is that consistent? Absolutely.

Is that productive? Who knows 🤷‍♂️.

Hopefully you might now see where the art of the blank canvas can come in here.

The original ‘learning plan’ came from somewhere, even if it wasn’t thought of as a plan. In fact most plans aren’t thought of as plans. They develop as routines through the art of repetition. I’m going to presume for this example that at least some planning was involved - whether from a book, a YouTube video, or a conversation with someone. But I’m fully aware that it might actually just be a developed routine.

The plan was likely well intentioned, but uneducated.

Just like a gym routine. You see someone doing push / pull / legs; and you mirror their routine. Their exercises, their rest periods, and so on.

Or a relationship. You see someone buying a takeaway every Friday and a bunch of flowers every Valentines Day, and you mirror that routine.

There’s no thought as to whether the plan works. In fact, there was probably little thought in designing or implementing the plan.

The blank canvas helps us review, reset and restart.

Back to chess.

Rather than blindly doing what you’ve done yesterday, here’s one way that you could use this concept.

1. Allocate some time to learn more about learning. What do other people do to learn? How much time do they devote? Do they use any external resources such as books, courses or coaches? How do they feel about their plan?

2. Allocate some time to learn about your own learning. Are there any metrics you can use to identify what has worked and what hasn’t? This is often difficult, but you can find ways to measure progress. Chess players can use their ELO, those in the gym can use the volume of weight and changes in their body metrics, those in relationships can use the rather less scientific measure of whether their partner is moaning more or less.

3. Take some independent advice, if you need to. A chess coach, a PT, a relationship expert can help you understand your blind spots. It’s rare that we see our own weaknesses if we don’t know that we need to look out for them.

4. Create an outline of your new plan. What will you devote to this activity, financially, mentally and in terms of our most limited resource - hours? When will you do it? When will be the right time to do it? Scheduling is critical - I know I certainly have a big difference in my performance at chess and in the gym based on the time I do it, regardless of the time spent.

5. Work out what activities the plan will involve. You’ve established the ‘resource’ of money and time, now design what activities will lead to the best result. You’ll use another accounting concept here - ROI (Return on Investment) - to make sure that you are getting the very best results from whatever you put in. The research performed in 1, 2 and 3 will help steer this.

Now, you might find that your new routine - which is planned, so we absolutely can call it a plan now - is identical to your last.

Well, congratulations! You were either extremely intuitive or lucky.

But, here’s the thing. You can continue with confidence. Now, you know that you’ve planned intentionally with a blank canvas.

Just don’t leave it too long before revisiting!

Carl Reader is a WH Smith Bestselling Author and international keynote speaker with a real passion for helping people do better. There are two ways to learn more about Carl! You can either follow him on Social Media if you’re just curious (@carlreader on most platforms), or if you’d like to learn a little more about what he does on stage, through content and in the media from a commercial perspective, you can visit his website.

You can buy a copy of his last book BOSS IT here, wherever you are in the world. And of course, I’d love you to subscribe to this community to be the first to see everything I have to share - just click the button below. It’s free of charge!

Subscribe now

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• An exploration of why it’s nice to be called humble (especially if you’re a people pleaser)

• Thoughts around whether being humble is a symptom of imposter syndrome

• A reminder of the benefits of being quietly confident.

Being humble is probably the most underrated life skill I can imagine. But is it a skill or a curse?

I’m probably going to do the least humble thing you could imagine and share an extract from a message that I received from a lovely guy called Ainsley, who I met at a dinner in Edinburgh after an event. We had a good chat as we were sat next to each other, we said the usual pleasantries, and found we both had a mutual excitement about helping the next generation and around innovation.

So, here goes. The message. «cringe»

Now, I have to be honest. There is part of me that is absolutely delighted to have received this. It made my day. But as I thought about it more, it made me wonder. Do I believe in myself?

The thing is, earlier that day, I was asked whilst on stage about imposter syndrome. It felt a very difficult question to answer, because in all honesty, it’s not something I’ve ever knowingly suffered from. I don’t yet have a recording of the fireside chat that I participated in so can’t share my answer verbatim; however it was something along the lines of:

“To be honest, that’s a really difficult question for me to answer, because in truth I don’t believe I have imposter syndrome. Perhaps I look at things too logically, but I think we are all people and if I see people doing things, I don’t doubt that I should be able to do them if I applied myself to it. Secondly, there’s an old saying that everyone gets promoted to the job just above where their capabilities are. If that’s the case, we’re all imposters, so why should I worry about it?”

I think that’s roughly what I said. Thinking back to it, I probably sounded like a right plonker. I couldn’t win a heavyweight title like Tyson Fury, create amazing companies like Jeff Bezos, or win a golden boot at the World Cup. I know that.

But, I also know deep down that I never think to myself “should I really be here? Is this real?"

My life is my life. I love the journey, but also, deep down I feel like I deserve the journey. I know I’ve put in the hard yards, and have made more sacrifices than most to be doing what I do - some of which I’m glad of, some of which I desperately regret.

Anyway, back to the topic. Is being humble a symptom of imposter syndrome? Taking a step back, I’m sure it might be. But I’m also sure that it might be the polar opposite!

Yes, I’m full of contradictions. I’m sure that both ‘yes’ and ‘no’ are arguable and potentially valid answers to that question… I’m happy to admit when I don’t know!

The case ‘for’ is simple.

Someone doesn’t believe in themselves. So they don’t believe in themselves when they speak to others.

That ‘for’ case is the easy answer, and I guess what made my mind start going down that route.

But before we start exploring the case ‘against’, which on reflection I think is stronger, let’s first explore my take on being humble.

Clearly, it’s something that’s important to me. Otherwise, I wouldn’t have been so elated to have received the message. Clearly, it’s also something that isn’t 100% true, otherwise, I wouldn’t have shared the message.

It’s something that I certainly aspire to; but, it’s also something that is extremely difficult to assess about yourself impartially. You never quite know how you come across.

It got me thinking a little more about being humble, and how that shows up in my life. And that’s where the imposter syndrome thoughts started to kick in.

You see, one of the most embarrassing questions for me is ‘so, what do you do?’. Most often heard at those god awful networking events full of shiny suits and dry sandwiches. I’d love to answer honestly by saying “sleep until 9:30am, or 10:30 if I can get away with it; eat Haribo; waste time scrolling through Reels; and put off doing whatever is important that day” - but, it’d fly over their heads.

Instead, I have to translate ‘what do you do’ into ‘what is your work endeavour’, to which I struggle to have an answer. So depending on the circumstances of meeting someone, I ‘run a business’, ‘am in accounting’, ‘do a bit of speaking’, or ‘do a bit of writing’.

I’m really not one for nonsense like “I’m disrupting the world by…”, or «shudder» “I’m a serial entrepreneur…”.

Is this because I feel like an imposter? Actually, I think forms the case against the big question. I’ll come to that later, when we compare and contrast against the “CEO” of a sole trader business with no employees 😇.

I once had an occasion at a House of Lords event, where the room was full of peacocking and chest puffing. I won’t name the event nor the Lord who sponsored it; not out of courtesy or discretion… more because I’m sure that many people have suffered this at many events, and therefore it’s hardly unique!

Someone came over to me and asked the dreaded networking question, and based on the conversation I’d been having in the group that he had entered, I answered “I do a bit of writing”. Specifically, I was talking with someone just before the question, who knew that I had columns in the i Paper and Daily Express at the time, and wanted to know a little more about how it all worked.

I remember his response so clearly.

“Oh, are you hoping to be a journalist one day? I suppose it will pay the bills”.

A loaded response if I’d ever heard one!

I really wanted to unleash a torrent of achievements on him. Or give him a slap. But, I had to check myself. Who was I to think that he should know anything about who I am, what I do, and so on before knowing me? He might have been judgemental, but that’s his problem, not mine. And to presume he was judgemental and not just clumsy with words would be my problem.

So I responded politely, agreed it’d be a fascinating job, and asked him what he did, reminding him that he appeared very successful. I can’t remember if he did or not.

A sprinkling of people pleasing, perhaps?

And as an aside, I think journalism would be fantastic. I’m envious of my mates in that world who get to speak to amazing people, ask the difficult questions, and put in the graft behind the scenes. Whilst the media might be facing tough times, the world needs strong journalists asking the tough questions and doing the tough research to find the answers that we all crave.

The thing is, I’m actually indifferent to social standing. For any overseas readers, this probably seems shocking given the British obsession and nuances around our class system. The response I received may have revealed an element of posturing; but frankly, I don’t give a monkeys if it did. I’m an Essex lad who stands with his mates from school, knows the value of a quid, is aspirational, and respects his elders. I’ve had great times and I’ve had crap times. As has everyone else.

Which perhaps indicates that yes, despite sharing the message from Ainsley, maybe I am humble.

But first, lets address the elephant in the room.

I shared some brief thoughts about this encounter on Instagram and mentioned that I like to learn from others and make them feel good in the process. I prefer to put a smile on their face rather than mine with the things I say. And I got this response.

So yeah, I’m an out and out people pleaser. Is it genuinely me that is humble, or is it my people pleasing that leads me to be humble?

I’d like to think that if it is as a result of wanting to please others, that’s only part of it. One of the things that I try to maintain is that I’m happy to do what I need to do to get by. When faced with difficult times, some will get a second job in Tesco’s, and some will just go bankrupt.

Me?

Show me those checkouts baby, I’m gonna have fun pressing all the buttons!

Because I’ve done my best to keep my feet planted on the ground when things have been good, it means that it’s easier to ride it out when things are bad. I know some people suspect I live on a diet of Michelin star food, five star holidays and so on. I really don’t. My Instagram is living proof of the fact that I’m made up of pie and mash, dodgy football, and enjoying stuff that I didn’t have as a kid! I wouldn’t care if mates saw me doing what others may deem a menial job. Those who do what they need to do are those that I admire in life.

Anyway, back on track. I provided the case for, and promised to provide the case against.

Is my type of response - arguably a ‘played down’ response - to that cringeworthy networking conversation topic a sign of imposter syndrome as well as, or in addition to, being humble?

On reflection, I don’t think so.

If you feel the need to blow your own trumpet, it means you don’t have your own band. And likely, can’t enjoy others playing the trumpet in case they are louder than you.

The more you believe in yourself, the more that you believe that others will believe in you, and the more you can trust the process.

Carl Reader is a WH Smith Bestselling Author and international keynote speaker with a real passion for helping people do better. There are two ways to learn more about Carl! You can either follow him on Social Media if you’re just curious (@carlreader on most platforms), or if you’d like to learn a little more about what he does on stage, through content and in the media from a commercial perspective, you can visit his website.

You can buy a copy of his last book BOSS IT here, wherever you are in the world. And of course, I’d love you to subscribe to this community to be the first to see everything I have to share - just click the button below. It’s free of charge!

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• A reflection on how the world batters us into limiting beliefs

• A celebration of the amazing talent that is sat within future generations

• Some tips to help you take off your blinkers and embrace your inner child

Wow. Simply wow.

Countries with a dubious child labour culture have got it *all* wrong!

Recently I was blessed to be able to attend the Moneymatix Youth Money Camp, hosted at the University of Edinburgh Business School. I was invited to be the special guest speaker, and to spend a bit of time helping the kids learn a little more about business and then ultimately, judge their entries into the final competition.

I thought I’d be wading through flawed ideas with no ambition. Sweetshops run on a shoestring. Car washing in the local street. But no…

What I experienced was completely mind blowing.

It wasn’t just inspiring. It was a paradigm shift for me.

A paradigm shift that was worth every single minute that I spent on this event.

Now, anyone who does charitable work will know that there is always a small element of self interest. I’m not talking about the scumbags who steal money - nor in fact, those who do it just to shout about it. Instead, I’m talking about the feel good factor that comes from doing good. It’s a warm fuzzy feeling whenever you (or your business, if you are an entrepreneur) do something charitable which aligns with your goals.

I’m comfortable with that side benefit of charitable work. But at this event, I got something so much more valuable.

I got a business lesson that I sorely needed.

Here’s the thing. Every single idea, plan, and action in my business that I undertake is shrouded by rubbish. Rubbish from my education, rubbish from my experience, and rubbish from my fears.

What if it goes wrong?

What’s the downside risk?

What if I spearhead an embarrassing failure?

And probably the worst - “this is not realistic”.

One of my favourite concepts is one from Peter Thiel, co-founder of PayPal. In his book Zero to One*, he explores what is needed for a startup to change the world. He talks about the need for businesses to create the new, rather than improve the existing. And he challenges us to massively question our limiting beliefs. Why can’t things be done in a much smaller timescale?

If you haven’t read it, you can buy it here

On reflection, it’s actually quite shocking to me that as “entrepreneurs” we have to be told this stuff. Eight year olds get it!

I probably should elaborate and provide more context before evangelising about the power of the childhood mind.

I heard five pitches:

• a contactless card with inbuilt fingerprint biometrics, to reduce contactless fraud (a huge sum of money)

• A water bottle made from the roots of mushrooms

• A phone app which monitors inbound and outbound communications from phones so that the one in five (!!) kids who have approaches from online predators can be protected, without risking their confidentiality or parents having to snoop

• A ship that can suck plastics from the sea, rather than using a net, and resell the plastics to build the circular economy; and

• A wearable device for those with addictions to identify drug or alcohol usage

Now, ask any adult to come up with a business idea, and I can guarantee that at best it’s “Google but a bit quicker”. More often than not, it’s “open a shop or restaurant in my local town.

Let’s take this a step further.

When we start planning a business, we focus on the art of now. Reality is reality. For our restaurant, we will go to the town centre and click a clicker to work out today’s footfall. We look at kitchen equipment just like the ones we’ve used or seen. And where do we open? In the buildings that are vacant.

Soooo creative… (I’d better point out the sarcasm seeing it doesn’t always land with the written word!)

If we are particularly sophisticated, we might run a focus group. Full of people in our target demographic, full of people with the same limitations.

I can save you the hassle. They want a fiver off their meal and good service.

It reminds me of the Henry Ford story. I’m not old enough to have heard it, so I don’t know if it’s true. But allegedly he said of the motorcar that if he asked people what they wanted, they’d say faster horses.

Childish thinking at its best.

People are often shut down due to childish thinking.

But why?

We’ve got it all wrong. Instead of adults thinking and working out what the kids should do (hopefully, in compliance with child labour laws); why aren’t the kids thinking and the adults doing?!

Now, I know this is radical. It won’t happen. So instead, let’s think about what we can do to help fire that creativity:

• Assume that everything you know is wrong. Next time you need to brainstorm, brainstorm with a blank canvas.

• Challenge everything. What stories have you told yourself about your customers, your market, and your industry?

• What is it that makes you think “I can’t do that”? Hit that delete button in your head.

• Embrace your inner child. Think bigger, then think bigger again. Why just flying cars? Can it be a submarine as well?

• If you have a 10 year plan, ask yourself why it can’t be done in 1 year. Then bridge that gap. Work out the limiting factors, and reapply that creativity!

It took a book from Peter Thiel for people to read this argument, and still very few who read it will act on it. Today, I learned that kids get it.

(PS. The youngest attendee was 7, not 8)

Carl Reader is a WH Smith Bestselling Author and international keynote speaker with a real passion for helping people do better. There are two ways to learn more about Carl! You can either follow him on Social Media if you’re just curious (@carlreader on most platforms), or if you’d like to learn a little more about what he does on stage, through content and in the media from a commercial perspective, you can visit his website.

You can buy a copy of his last book BOSS IT here, wherever you are in the world. And of course, I’d love you to subscribe to this community to be the first to see everything I have to share - just click the button below. It’s free of charge!

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• Some insight into why I am doing this

• My thoughts on the current state of publishing and social media

• An opportunity to contribute by contacting me, to help steer this project

If you’re reading this, thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

You are one of the ‘founding subscribers’ to this Substack (and if not, why not? Subscribe here) and knowing you are here has pulled on my heartstrings and my mind; knowing that I’ve not posted for over a year.

Well, I’ve had a crazy year. And now, I’m ready to share some thoughts after dealing with what I needed to deal with.

You’ll see that this Substack has had a lick of paint, and now has some activity. It is absolutely not finished. It is at best described as ‘rough and ready’. Over time it will develop, but I don’t want to let the perfect get in the way of the good. And I’m planning to share some of the journey of developing this along the way, as I think there are loads of lessons to be learned.

Once upon a time I launched an Instagram account as a private account called @thoughtsfromcarl. It was intended to be a repositry of the random thoughts and ideas I had, captured through doodles and snappy snippets of the stuff going through my mind. It was the stuff that had no natural home. It didn’t fit with the selfies, trainers and food pictures on @carlreader, didn’t fit with my business activities, and didn’t fit into any other natural home. It was too amateur for LinkedIn, too embryonic for a book, but still needed sharing in some shape or form.

If you’ve had a nosey, you’ll see that there were some good bits in there! Don’t expect to see thousands of followers, nor any recent activity. For now. That will likely change.

So, what’s the plan?

I mentioned in my launch post (linked at the end) that I was disillusioned with social media. Those thoughts still stand. We are restricted by character counts, algorithms, and group mentality. A selfie in a snazzy suit gets far more views and engagement than a nugget of advice or inspiration that can actually make a difference. And my passion is sharing stuff that makes a difference.

Following that, I’d also like to comment on a few other changes in the content world.

First up, the publishing world has changed. Attention spans have changed. Anyone can self publish, and anyone can be an ‘Amazon Bestseller’. All credit for those who share good stuff with the world - I support any and every creator in that regard. But on the flip side, I’m also extremely mindful of the fun prank my mate ‘Mike Winnet’ (not his real name, that’s a secret I’ll keep as long as he does') ran on Amazon, making an empty book a best seller. It’s hard for readers to sort the wheat from the chaff, and when they do, they find that their attention spans have been decimated by 30 second TikTok’s.

Next, the media has changed. It feels a lifetime ago that I was published in all national newspapers (apart from the Sunday Sport, haven’t got the rack for it), on all of the radio stations and a regular commentator on TV. I’m not going to comment too much on that world, other than to say that sadly it now sometimes comes down to clicks and bait. There’s a difference there that I’d love to make, but it’s not today’s task.

So, that’s why ‘thoughts from Carl’ was a thing, and that’s why ‘thoughts from Carl’ now is a thing.

I’ve no idea how this will develop.

I’ve written a bank of articles to at least kick this off, but deep down I know that this is a hobby not a business, and also that I’m not always the best at consistency although, I can do it. My previous podcast had 60 odd episodes if I remember correctly - 90% of podcasts only hit three episodes according to some random user on Reddit. I’ll let you be the judge of the reliability of that stat! It became ‘New and Noteworthy’ according to Apple, achieved sponsorship from a Fortune 500 brand, and charted high in the Top 20 podcasts. I tend not to do things by half when I get the bug.

Here’s hoping I can get some steam on here.

Unlikely? Yes.

Will it last? Who knows.

Will I share some amazing stuff in the meantime? I’ll let you be the judge of that.

You see, at my heart, I am a creative. But I’m woefully impractical. I can’t draw to save my life, and I’m not dextrous enough to play a musical instrument. That’s why I stick to mixing as if I’m still a 15 year old bedroom DJ, and dabble with remixing the great work from others. But words? I can knock them together. Videos? I can chat random stuff all day long… and in fact pride myself on being a one shot wonder.

(Jesus, that sounds dodgy…)

Let’s see where this goes. I might change the ‘brand’, I might change the focus, I might change from Substack to another platform, but for now… you’re getting the unfiltered thoughts from Carl here. Free of charge, but subscriptions to be the first to hear what’s on my mind are gratefully appreciated (and likely to lead to some other benefits that I’m yet to work out!)

Smart thinking and observations about mindset, society, and business; from a bloke who says it as it is.

And all thoughts are my own. Not a corporate

What’s the plan?

I’ve reviewed the focus of my content creation. I want my socials to stay as they are - a way for you all to feel connected to me, and vice versa. I don’t want to sell there, and I don’t particularly want to ‘monetise’ unless it truly adds value to all - I’m no Kim Kardashian and certainly not a Love Islander.

I want my website to be as low maintenance as possible. A ‘one and done’. A snazzy brochure for those who are brave enough to engage me and lend me their stage, their pages, or their platform; for my thoughts and opinions.

And this Substack will be the midway point. The ‘blog’. The ‘vlog’. The home of my actual content, the deeper thoughts, and the nuggets of advice that can inspire you, motivate you, and help you do better - whether you are starting out in life, or are wondering what’s next.

I hope my thoughts inspire or educate you in some way. Thank you so much for being part of this journey, and thank you for being an early supporter of my creative outlet. It means so much to me.

Here is the original launch post if you’d like to learn more about the ethos behind this.

Carl Reader is a WH Smith Bestselling Author and international keynote speaker with a real passion for helping people do better. There are two ways to learn more about Carl! You can either follow him on Social Media if you’re just curious (@carlreader on most platforms), or if you’d like to learn a little more about what he does on stage, through content and in the media from a commercial perspective, you can visit his website.

You can buy a copy of his last book BOSS IT here, wherever you are in the world. And of course, I’d love you to subscribe to this community to be the first to see everything I have to share - just click the button below. It’s free of charge!

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There’s an important disclaimer which applies to all content shared on this Substack, available at the bottom of this page, together with the statutory information that is required to be shared under current UK legislation.

Depending on the lens through which you read this, I have some horrible, or some reassuring news.

You will never make it.

There. I said it!

If you learn one thing today, I'd like you to learn about the concept of the never ending escalator.

We are all on a journey in our life, and often we see it like a road. It's going off into the distance, but usually in our mind there's a pot of gold at the end of it. Retirement, a new car, a promotion, running a marathon.

All of these things are admirable goals, but are they really the end of the road?

Of course not.

I want you to reframe this stuff.

Instead of thinking of a defined end goal, I want you to think of a continuous journey.

A never ending journey.

An escalator to heaven, if you like.

Why an escalator and not a stairway?

Because whatever you're chasing is also on that escalator.

If you run a 10k race in an hour, next time you'll want to hit 59 minutes.

If you buy a BMW 3 series, the 5 is waiting for you.

Even if you end up buying the world's biggest yacht, or become the world heavyweight champion, there's likely always someone richer or better than you just around the corner - especially if you have a bad day. These successes are often fleeting moments in the tapestry of world history.

Once you understand this escalator concept, life becomes quite a bit easier.

The goals are no easier, but our ability to cope with what's afterwards is.

And the reminder that goals need constant resetting helps us with that.

If you've not heard me talk about the notebook under the bed, you will do soon. I think it's in at least two of my books, and likely will be in my next one too. It's a very important lesson.

Enjoy the ride on the escalator, and don't get concerned that the pot of gold is moving at the same pace. It's an escalator, after all.

2024 update (note, the above text has remained entirely unchanged).

It has (quite literally!) been a year of… Safe to say that goal setting has been focused on day to day, rather than big picture.

Does this change anything I’ve shared above? Not at all. It all still applies.

But, rereading this and polishing it slightly to fit into the new brand and with the required statutory information etc has made me realise that I need to focus on where ‘tomorrow Carl’ wants to be; whilst also being mindful that it is a never ending escalator.

The notebook principle still stands. I’ll share that later. I need to step back, assess, dream, do, and enjoy. Over and over again.

And along the way, I’m gonna enjoy the escalator ride. It’s much more fun than the stairs!

Carl Reader is a WH Smith Bestselling Author and international keynote speaker with a real passion for helping people do better. There are two ways to learn more about Carl! You can either follow him on Social Media if you’re just curious (@carlreader on most platforms), or if you’d like to learn a little more about what he does on stage, through content and in the media from a commercial perspective, you can visit his website.

You can buy a copy of his last book BOSS IT here, wherever you are in the world. And of course, I’d love you to subscribe to this community to be the first to see everything I have to share - just click the button below. It’s free of charge!

Subscribe now

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There’s an important disclaimer which applies to all content shared on this Substack, available at the bottom of this page, together with the statutory information that is required to be shared under current UK legislation.

Work hard at school, get a safe nine to five, buy a house because nothing's as safe as bricks and mortar, and then count down your days until retirement.

Wooo. Sounds fun, doesn't it?

We've got this all wrong.

Yesterday's rules aren't today's rules. And for once, it isn't the academic rules that I'll attack here!

Let's start with the end - retirement.

It has been clear to me for a long time that there'll be no such thing as a 'retirement' for me, and likely for many of my generation. I'm one of the elder Millenials, desperately clinging on to the coattails of this generation as a 1981 vintage, and have seen a number of indicators pointing towards this in the UK:

• the alignment of male and female pensionable ages,

• proposed increase in pensionable ages,

• restrictions around tax relief on pensions,

• the shift of burden for pension funding from government to employer/ee, and so on

Spending just a little time with a spreadsheet and some finger in the air return rates confirms what I've long suspected - I'll be working to the grave. Short of putting every last penny away, I'll need to so that I can afford some semblance of a lifestyle. And yes, I enjoy avocado toast and Netflix.

But here's where I become really controversial - the healthcare improvements that we all are benefitting from right now, and the societal shifts in expectations on us all, allow us to work longer.

It was my friend Richard Brewin who first mentioned to me that when he turned 50, he felt a much younger 50 than his Dad was. Perhaps it's the naivety of age, or a very real example of recency bias (given that I looked in the mirror 20 seconds ago and last saw my Dad at 42, 20 years ago!) but yes, I am a much younger 42 year old than my Dad was.

I still don't know what I want to do when I grow up.

I know that's not what you'd expect to hear from someone who keynotes and writes about how to BOSS IT and how to 'transform your life', but it's a fact.

I don't.

I still feel young, full of energy, and full of wonder.

Rather than counting down the days until retirement, I worry about having days cruelly taken from me too early.

In my opinion, a big part of our misalignment on this whole situation comes back to the sentence I began with. Go to school to get a job. Get a job to get a permanent home to be bound to. Count down the days until retirement. And then count down the days until you're too old to enjoy it.

I'm not going to flippantly exclaim "there's got to be a better way...", simply because deep down, we all know that there is.

I've seen people live in caravans with young children, in the hope of saving enough for a deposit. In the UK.

They must be mad!

I've seen people succumb to 110% mortgages. 40 year mortgages. Financial traps which you wouldn't wish on your worst enemy.

Getting that 'foot on the ladder', but not realising the ladder is leaning against the wrong wall.

A wall of a starter home, which will only be suitable for the first few years of family life at best. Let's not even look at the sums around the cost of moving and the sunk cost of stamp duties etc which have an awful tendency to negate a good proportion of gains.

Nor the fact that average share portfolios mirroring the Dow Jones actually sit very close to property (7.3% vs 7.0% over the 70 years of the Queen's reign, according to the Daily Mail).

"Ahh, but you won't have to pay rent with your own house. No, but you'll have dividends to pay for it, and you won't need to fix the boiler!"

To close off that mini rant about our societal conditioning around our normal life journey... even cash sat in the bank would have averaged 6.1% return over that time pegged to Base Rate!

But of course, we don't have cash for it to sit in the bank (or buy shares) - and that's why we buy property, because it's leveraged. We can't actually afford it, we don't actually own it, but we get into debt to have the perception of having made it.

Tying us down yet further into that job.

The 'safe 9 to 5' that is utterly uninspiring.

The one where we have that calendar on our desk with our retirement date marked, counting the days, weeks, months, years...

And again, I’ve seen that.

People disregarding their morals and working for ‘the devil’ because it pays well.

Riding the career wave, with no idea why they are on that journey and whether it’s the right journey.

If it's not glaringly obvious by now - haven't you thought of doing something you want to, right now?

Rather than doing the do because it's what you did yesterday, and it’s what your parents did before you, and it's what you need to do today to be able to retire tomorrow, wouldn't it be more fun if you didn't feel the need to retire?

If you still had that sense of wonder and anticipation about what comes next?

If you were thoroughly excited about what the next 50 years could bring, and your part to play in it all?

That’s not to say that buying a house isn’t good. Nor is it to say that a ‘safe 9 to 5’ isn’t good. Etc.

These things are only not good if you have to make huge sacrifices elsewhere, just to conform to the paradigms you feel you have to conform to. Especially those huge sacrifices to your happiness.

The Japanese had a term for this conforming - the ‘salaryman’ - which was the ever loyal worker, who works his butt off for his company. Or hers, I guess. Anyway, imagine Dwight Schrute from The Office.

I’m absolutely fine with my kids being ‘salaryman’ if that makes them happy. But if it doesn’t, I’d far rather them be happy than be ‘salaryman’.

Make your home a holiday.

Make your work play, and your play work.

It might sound silly, but when you hit that sweet spot, you don’t have the Sunday evening dread.

Just one footnote on this.

When I was younger, I often wondered why rich people, who seemed truly successful, worked until their deathbed when by all reasonable standards, they could have retired earlier than most.

In fact, I tried retirement when I had the chance.

It was bloody boring.

I ended up being involved in the takeover of a National League South football club within a few weeks. I went mad with nothing to do.

Perhaps, the reason why those 'rich people' were rich and successful was because they found something that ticked that box. Which made them never feel the need to conform and retire.

(PS: If you have a child, don't give up your family time and comfort, living in a caravan working multiple jobs for some future bricks. They'd far rather that mum and dad were there, than mum and dad being future homeowners. They're not embarrased by renting, they just want to go to the park and spend time with you. You can be happy too)

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Some of you may be wondering why I've taken you through the ordeal of subscribing to yet another platform, downloading another app, and potentially even paying for another subscription.

Well, to me it's simple.

Social media as it stands, on most platforms, is broken.

The algorithms run the game.

'Tits and teeth' get far more attention than thinking and leading.

Frankly, I'm never going to be an Insta babe, and whilst that might be a goal for some, it certainly isn't for me.

One of the tipping points for me was the bought blue tick. Once a mark of someone considered noteworthy enough to potentially have their account imitated, it rapidly became a status symbol. As someone who had one on Twitter, and currently has one on Facebook and Instagram (but for how long, who knows?), it used to give very little benefit. I had to sign away my right to anonymity on the platforms, in exchange for a small icon which proved that I asked for verification enough times for someone at the platform to cave in.

Yes - that's how it's done. Twitter or Instagram didn't 'bless' your friend with a blue tick because of how amazing they are. They’re not David Beckham. Instead, they requested it through the 'Request Verification' tab of the settings with some links to prove that they can be found in the media and are noteworthy in their own village, and if they were anything like me, submitted it a few times until it worked.

Buying blue ticks isn't new. If like most you couldn't get one through the official routes, I understand that you could have bought them through 'media partners'. It all seemed a little dodgy to me, and to be honest, a huge waste of money. But now, the blue ticks are a small waste of money, every single month.

Drip, drip, drip...

And indicative of the continued direction of travel for social media platforms.

As humans, many of us have fallen into the trap of bought status symbols. Drive a German Whip? Bought homogenous sunglasses made in an Italian factory with a luxury clothing brand name slapped on them, for 100x the cost of production? Carry a handbag that didn't come from Asda and cost 5 pence? Yeah... that includes you too.

The thing is, these items bring us a target to achieve, and often serve to celebrate milestones. Birthdays, new jobs, promotions, and so on. I could be fluffy and spiritual about this stuff but you know what? If that's what motivates you (and yes, it is what motivates me too), then that's fine. We shouldn't all pretend to be spiritual beings with not a single capitalist bone in our bodies, as many of us aren't.

But let's be honest, who really benefits from a blue icon, made up of 200 or so pixels, now that it is available to everyone?

Will they be the new Omega Swatch, something 'aspirational' at a commodotised price, which everyone soon realised was just an expensive Swatch once the perception of scarcity had disappeared?

Or even worse, an 'NFT', an asset you can't touch, smell, taste etc, but available to everyone?

Anyways, I digress. And I fear I'm sounding a bit too old and wise for my own good.

Back to the subject. The bought blue tick was just one of the reasons why traditional social media platforms leave me cold. The algorithms, the limits on creation (words, characters and so on), the inability to link externally without killing reach, and so on. Add to that the fact that it is now pay to play, and it's clear that the model is only heading in one direction.

And that's not a direction I fancy travelling down.

So again, welcome to my Substack!

I'll be sharing thoughts and musings across my main areas of expertise, or more accurately observation. Much of it will be free of charge; however to be transparent I am considering whether to add a 'premium' membership with additional benefits, to avoid the other way of monetising which is a whole deal more underhanded (trust me, I know, and I feel like one of the very few who actually uses #AD. And doesn't sip from a branded cup, weave in references etc without declaring a potential conflict).

My topics will be broadly based on the same subjects as my books and current social media posts. Personal development and small business. With a dash of insight from my other worlds, which include fintech, neurodivergence, fashion and football.

(By the way, that's another reason why I'm reducing external social media. If I don't post about Southend United, Twitter now suffocates me as that's the 'box' I've been placed into. My life is more than just one area.)

I hope you enjoyed this read, and I hope that you enjoy this journey.

Carl

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